I have been performing good at sex snd have been gettin good solid erections for the past month and a half. Thought i was set and free from sexual anxiety. Untill yesterday i had found myself in the same mind space of “ youre not gonna get hard and you will disappoint her”. And just what I was thinking about all day the “what if”, it happened. We came to my house and i tried having sex w my gf and i could not get hard at all, my anxiety was through the roof. And i know its just in my head, my anxiety about not getting hard is what kills my drive. I think too much about it that it builds the anxiety and when were trying to have sex, i cant stop thinking about it and i cant get hard. About 10 mins later of me trying to calm myself down, she has a tactic for when this happens, she tries to get make me mad to get myself distracted and it works most of the time, i was able to get my mind off my anxiety and i got hard and fucked her. But i wish i could just get my mind off the fear of not getting hard, what are some exercises that work for you guys to ignore/get rid of the inner critic?
I know dude……it’s a crazy and insane mental battle….super weird that so many of us are going through this. I’ve been on this app and am having success through all the exercises and especially sharing through this community chat……makes me feel not alone and that I’m not the only one out there with this problem….it was making me feel broken and less of a man because I’ve literally never experienced this issue and am very sexually experienced. It’s a total mind game……100%. I give grace to myself and don’t judge myself too harshly and have been open to my wife about the mental battles. It’s an ego issue honestly. I’m 53 now and am just experiencing the effects of my age….body is changing hormonal wise. On testosterone and working on the mental battles….everything is coming around beautifully. Good luck out there boys……we will be back in action
I literally feel exactly the same man. How long have you and your girl been together?
4 years, and we have never experienced this untill October of last year. I believe the root to the problem was my porn addiction that she didnt know about, and it kind of left me damaged from so much masterbating and addicted to pornography. It made me lose sense of the real world and real sex. Im recovering its not easy, i have been clean from porn and masterbating for about 2 months and some weeks. Thought my problems of sexual anxiety would be over with but the inner critic is there bugging still. Its 100% in my head only, and i am just starting to re teach myself the exercises in this program.
I feel like everything was fine until a week ago, I wasn’t feeling as horny after we had sex a few times but I tried to initiate it because I wanted to pleasure her but I didn’t think it would send. The next day I was feeling fine and didn’t even pay it any mind, I tried to initiate sex and We had a huge argument about my erection issue she took it as me not being attracted to her but that’s not true. and almost broke up, we’ve been dating for 2 years. She apologized for some of the stuff she said but since the argument my anxiety about sex has been through the roof and it’s gotten better throughout this week but I still keep getting anxiety sometimes when I think about sex. We’ve had sex hella too since the argument… it’s weird I’m only nervous about it before but I have been able to be fully present during sex and foreplay. Last night I tried again but the anxiety hit me like a brick wall, luckily my girl is a little more understanding about it but I don’t want this to threaten our relationship. I want the anxiety to go away 
it ruins everything
Bro, i was there 2 months ago. Me and my gf of 4 years almost broke up w me because i couldn’t get hard. She thought i was not attracted to her anymore as well. She now understands how i have this anxiety that makes no sense. Ive never had this problem and im 25. Im not old, but it caught me so off guard i never thought id ever experience this. My anxiety always kicks in when ik were gojng to have sex. And i have been paying attention to my thoughts and erections. I notice ill be horny and want to touch up on her when were out sn about. I only get anxious when i know where going back to my place to have sex. Its so weird because if we were at her house or anywhere really and she asked for it, i would be able to no questions asked. But its only when we have sex in my room is when i get anxious, im starting to feel like theres some negativity attached to my bed or room thats throwing me off. But i feel you, im on the same fuckin boat. Whats been helping me alot lately is taking honey packs, its like my anxiety goes away when i eat it. Im just trying to learn some exercises and learn to overcome this with out any pills. Im lucky enough to have a gf that understands now but before we couldn’t even have sex for weeks because she just didnt want to anymore and it hurt me because i am a sexual active person. Its so weird how im sexually active but i get anxious thinking about it. Just keep doing these exercises and im sure day by day well overcome this.
I’d suggest Meet your inner critic and Reprogram negative thoughts!