Way out, using it more as a tool

[elaborate-emerald-leopard]

There can be a reliance on passively watching exciting visuals, bombarding your visual senses with such images, and death gripping yourself passively moving your hand fast while sitting passively.
Focusing on sensation rather than bombarding your visual senses is the way out.

I used to binge watch video after video, fast forward to different parts in the video to see every position without busting, edging myself onto the next video in the suggested videos on the page compulsively.

Now I commit to watching 1 video of 20-40 minutes all the way through and not fast forwarding, and allowing myself to cum with that one video.

Moreover, I use lube now and more importantly a flesh light to focus more on the different sensations, even integrating pelvic thrusting to get used to this than relying on passive hand movements. The porn is now a back seat to focusing on the sensations (and relying less on my hand and tight grip going fast).

Also, I fins myself gravitating more to POV porn and otherwise using it as an aid to recall actual sexy moments I’ve been in. It’s more a tool, and making it more about sensations and recalling your own experiences of partnered sex. That’s how I’m resolving my issues.

[superb-fuchsia-asp]

This sounds like a good plan! Keep us posted!!
Good luck man!!

[remaining-black-anglerfish]

Has this helped?

[slim-teal-egret]

I’ve nicknamed the palm of my left hand “Rosie.” As girlfriends go, she’s always able and willing. She’s a bit of a tease; she won’t let me ejaculate every time. She used to find wood when she went out in the morning looking for something to do. Not so much any more. (sigh).

[elaborate-emerald-leopard]

I’m finding it helpful, yes. Some might find it necessary to quit porn altogether. In my case, I just needed to allow myself to finish, not edge for hours (and in so doing binging porn as such), and once I finish I don’t feel the need to watch the next video (or the video after that). To avoid setting up unrealistic expectations, I’m merely using it as a tool to help remember actual experiences with actual partners. Sure, some might rather fantasy building without such an external tool. But anyway, I’m not finding it such a detrimental tool as such. And of course, not passively giving into the visual component, but working a more concerted effort on getting into the physical sensations and pleasure, as masturbating as in sex it should be about the sensations and pleasure and not the fast food of purely visual stimulus.

[spatial-rose-falcon]

This is excellent advice man I’m currently doing a porn detox but this sounds amazing hope this helps i definitely just need to desensitize myself to porn

[remaining-black-anglerfish]

Yeah I rate that. I think I’m gonna try just imagination. Just because I’m in the same boat where if I watch porn I’ll just click from video to video and that ain’t healthy. If I get comfortable enough with it I may try just watching one video. Is there anything you do to make sure you only stick to one video all the way through and don’t click off? Do you just choose the first video you see or do you know what you’re looking for?

Also, what improvements have you noticed since doing this?

[remaining-black-anglerfish]

I’m the same when it comes to porn. I never wanna finish so spend ages flicking to the next video and it turns into a binge.

How are you planning on being stricter with yourself to not click video to video? Are you setting a timer & pre selecting a video or something else?

Also, what benefits have you noticed so far?

[elaborate-emerald-leopard]

Glad you appreciated. For me, I’m just using discipline. Its not fool proof, as sometimes the first video I click isn’t as good as I thought it would be (stuff like camera too far, too much from the voyeuristic side instead of allowing me to fantasize in the POV, or if it’s too rough which for me personally I’m turned off by, or if the performer is screaming excessively and theatrically which I’m annoyed by as it seems less real).

But I avoid the home page of the tube site, I immediately search performers I’ve noted that I like watching. Sometimes I’ll go to videos I know have worked for me time and again, instead of always being compelled to seek out something new. I will scroll what’s available under a performer, maybe try a video I haven’t watched yet. Sometimes I do allow to scroll through the suggested videos, I admit, but more to save a link for next time, as it sometimes leads to discovering a new performer that I like.

But yeah, just trying to commit to one video, not fast forwarding past the intro but allowing that to start to fire up my own juices. Don’t even fast forward through the cunnilingus parts, you can stroke yourself and enjoy the view of the beautiful performer and think of times in partnered situations where you were admiring them as you please them and worship their body.

And even alternate positions along with the action on screen while utilizing pelvic thrusting and the lubed up flesh light. Again, I try to tune in a big way to the sensations, even using my other hand on my body, like chest or abdomen, thigh or balls. I also like keep a finger or two at the base to feel the blood building. Take it out of the flesh light and put more lube, slap the flesh light with it, or slide the lips of the flesh light on the shaft before then again penetrating it and going at it again. Get into the sensations in your body. The video playing will be more in the background at that point.

And really think of moments you’ve had in partnered sex, it helps to have the audio up even a bit to tap into some nice memories.

I don’t want to kink shame, but my tastes are particular in seeking what seems most natural and real, more sensual. Eye gazing featured in videos, and sensual caresses and holding, making out that seems sincere and natural. I’m not into wild stuff anyway. But just seeing stuff that looks more genuine and fantasizing myself in those situations and/or recalling myself in those situations from past memory. Perhaps these suggestions can help you or others.

[elaborate-emerald-leopard]

Thanks remaining black anglerfish!
Glad you appreciated. For me, I’m just using discipline. Its not fool proof, as sometimes the first video I click isn’t as good as I thought it would be (stuff like camera too far, too much from the voyeuristic side instead of allowing me to fantasize in the POV, or if it’s too rough which for me personally I’m turned off by, or if the performer is screaming excessively and theatrically which I’m annoyed by as it seems less real).

But I avoid the home page of the tube site, I immediately search performers I’ve noted that I like watching. Sometimes I’ll go to videos I know have worked for me time and again, instead of always being compelled to seek out something new. I will scroll what’s available under a performer, maybe try a video I haven’t watched yet. Sometimes I do allow to scroll through the suggested videos, I admit, but more to save a link for next time, as it sometimes leads to discovering a new performer that I like.

But yeah, just trying to commit to one video, not fast forwarding past the intro but allowing that to start to fire up my own juices. Don’t even fast forward through the cunnilingus parts, you can stroke yourself and enjoy the view of the beautiful performer and think of times in partnered situations where you were admiring them as you please them and worship their body.

And even alternate positions along with the action on screen while utilizing pelvic thrusting and the lubed up flesh light. Again, I try to tune in a big way to the sensations, even using my other hand on my body, like chest or abdomen, thigh or balls. I also like keep a finger or two at the base to feel the blood building. Take it out of the flesh light and put more lube, slap the flesh light with it, or slide the lips of the flesh light on the shaft before then again penetrating it and going at it again. Get into the sensations in your body. The video playing will be more in the background at that point.

And really think of moments you’ve had in partnered sex, it helps to have the audio up even a bit to tap into some nice memories.

I don’t want to kink shame, but my tastes are particular in seeking what seems most natural and real, more sensual. Eye gazing featured in videos, and sensual caresses and holding, making out that seems sincere and natural. I’m not into wild stuff anyway. But just seeing stuff that looks more genuine and fantasizing myself in those situations and/or recalling myself in those situations from past memory. Perhaps these suggestions can help you or others.

[elaborate-emerald-leopard]

Sorry, i didn’t address benefits and improvements. Well, I’m spending a limited time on a tube site, it becomes less of a time suck. And using it more in the background lowers my reliance on it, tunes me more into the sensations I’m stimulating which is what we need to dial up in actual partnered situations. I feel partnered situations become more enjoyable, overall better erections.

I still require my hand for a little hard and fast at the end when I find an opportune time that’s as good as any to cum, because I tend to get delayed ejaculation when partnered. I need my hand hard and fast to get myself to the edge even when using the flesh light most times, but I’m staying more hard while penetrating with the flesh light or a partner.

With the rest of Mojo, I’ve been relaxing pressure on myself about fluctuating hardness, accepting this is normal and occurs for most guys in some way and degree, and gaining confidence in being able to get myself more hard in the moment when noticing a dip, just about confidence and focus. But yeah, I’ll need my hand just to get myself to that edge, there can be a lot of play before, penetration, going slow and tuning into the sensations, building intensity, but then to pull out and use my hand to get myself close to cumming, after which I can go inside again for the explosive finish, or finish myself on her body, or hand myself off for her to finish me off in her hand. It’s weird, I’m still at a point where my own hand can more reliably get me there (i can’t pelvic thrust nearly as fast as my hand), though I’m getting more and more pleasure through penetration (even with condom, which also is a barrier we have to learn to work with). It’s a process.