Even though it also applies when I am masturbating (to varying degrees), when I am having sex I can at time keep an erection while laying down or even sitting but standing up kills my erection. What do I do to make myself able to keep it up standing up? Should I only masturbate standing up for a while (if I can’t do it standing up, then don’t masturbate?)
Also I have very conflicting thoughts about porn usage. I feel I should just not watch porn and look for other avenues of excitement.
For me it’s the opposite. While I’ve mostly been used to masturbating while laying down or sitting down without much pelvic movement and rather quite passive, I find myself more stable when standing or feet planted on the ground somehow when with a woman. I started to experiment more and more masturbating standing and actively moving my pelvis which I also started trying to do even when masturbating laying down or sitting down. Also, got a toy I can mount to the wall and essentially “fuck” the wall, haha, which I’ve found a great training ground in moving my hips to feel the sliding sensations that are ultimately going to get me off, less hand and certainly one that is dry (using lube, recreating the circumstances similar to being with a woman, and the toy being closer to the sensations of an actual vagina than my hand can ever be).
Also, I would agree that porn being entirely visual, it gets us out of our body and feeling our sensations for most of our play often up until the point we cum, whereas for sex to be enjoyable and stimulating to us to keep it up, we have to be able to be sensitive to tune into ALL the sensations that eventually lead up to finally cumming. I don’t see porn as inherently bad or evil, but just I needed to switch it up and not be so reliant on it.
I think I want to purchase something I can mount as well. It would be helpful. I will try to diversify my masturbation patterns to help with the psychology of it all.
As far as the porn thing goes, it feel like it’s too much a strong stimulant. I feel like I am taking away from any progress toward increasing senses whenever I do watch it. It’s so easy with porn and so much harder without. I am really thinking about cold turkey cutting it out. I wouldn’t be hurting myself doing that, right?
Also, when I am standing and try to keep the erection going or whatever, I feel like all of my lower body is tense/flexed. There’s no relaxing while standing. Is that normal or ok? Would I be able to do anything help with that?
I kind of feel you can get used to masturbating in different positions. I never am in the habit of masturbating kneeling, and then when with a partner I’m often on my knees on the bed, I tend to feel tense in my legs primarily hamstrings, so using the wall mounted toy lower on the wall while I’m on my knees has been a good exploration as well. But yeah, if porn is easy for you to get you hard, experiment with putting a hot video and be standing, start to rub yourself slowly with attention to the senses, and if you start to get hard continue to progress to masturbation from that standing position. At times in recent past, I was compelled toward round 2 by myself watching porn and I may struggle keeping it hard while laying on my back and actually would stand up to tap into whatever I feel comforting and stable about that position to help get it harder, after which I can switch to lying down particularly if I’m close to cumming and proceed to finish myself off while lying on my back. Switch it up, that’s kind if what happens in sex, too, we can switch positions, try a position for a while, switch again, you know.
I think it’s a matter of switching it up in your masturbation patterns. If you’re losing it while standing, go back to laying down for a while if that position is a comfort to you that you feel more at ease to get hard in, then try coming back up to standing. Switch it up, which is what happens in partnered sex anyway.
Trying to comment, it’s not posting