I met someone recently who I liked but as soon as we got to bed, I foreshadowed losing my erection, did spectorating of myself, let my inner critic in and guess what lost it. The girl however was incredibly understanding and sensitive, we spoke at length and got into my sexual trauma of my first ED issue with my very first partner who ruined my sexual confidence my whole life. My Addiction to porn, which I have now removed fully from my life.
I’ve done two weeks of mojo aswell as daily Kegal exercises. I’ve used the podcasts, the meditations, read your stories. Suddenly not feeling alone or the only person this has happened to and a sense of community. I’ve started to learn how to be present in my body rather than my mind, box breath, soft play, as my visual has been ruined and learning more into audio stimulation, positive afermations, listening and finding my inner critic and learning how to fight that with my new inner cheerleader.
It was still there a little when we first started, I did go soft and I did get into my head but as the evening moved on and I shared where I was on my journey, I relaxed more, became more comfortable and suddenly it happened. We spent the whole evening and into the morning having sex like I was 20 again. I feel incredible today and felt I need to share, thank you for all your vulnerability, take one step every day and trust the process…remember love yourself, you are enough.