For me is the moment of penetration, the pressure to be hard enough to go in specially when talking about anal sex, you need to be rock hard. And then, for me, the person asking to take it out or to stop or go too slow can be a boner killer. Stopping the momentum, the impetus usually takes me straight to my head.
Having to stop and start all the time to avoid premature ejaculation
From the get go I’m worried if I’ll actually be able to get it up, usually I can from specifically slow foreplay but the transition from that to sex is definitely a killer. Also if I can see that I’m not hard during foreplay I instantly think it’s not happening today, whereas if I’m not spectatoring or focused on my penis it will usually go up naturally
I always feel like I need to pleasure my partner before we can both enjoy intercourse. This comes from my last relationship I think. She painter herself as a feminist but actually she just used that to her advantage to manipulate me. Luckily I really enjoy this part. But the whole time I’m worried I won’t get hard or as soon as that’s over it hits me and I lose it. So any sexual situation is a trigger.
Any time there is a pause for a bit to put a towel down or a condom or something like that
I think the idea that porn use growing up has permanently damaged my brain makes me so anxious that any sexual situation I get into feels as though I am too anxious/nervous/hearing the inner critic to truly relax and get an erection
My trigger is when I’m with someone for the first time I get very insecure about 1) getting hard and 2) I feel shameful about her seeing my un erect penis then I arrive at fight or flight and I know that it just won’t happen.
Drinking before hooking up - i believe this will prevent me from getting it up etc
Yes! Condom anxiety is definitely one of them. Oddly enough getting into missionary is one of them too.
putting on condoms sometimes hoestly making out becuase iive had premature ejaculation then as well and that really embarrasses me. Also my only sexual experience i went partially soft and couldnt penetrate and then eventually came while soft which freaked me out that there is something wrong
Moving from making out to the bedroom causes a lot of anxiety as this is where my inner critic comes in and starts to doubt everything I’m doing. I don’t even really get to the condom phase because of this.
Making the jump between oral and penetrative sex is where I get anxious. When the responsibility of me maintaining a hard erection long enough to get it in (especially with anal) I get nervous I won’t be hard enough and once we get around to being able to get in I’m soft. I keep trying to get it back but the mood is gone.
I start out fine, but if I try to switch up the position or just in a little while it’s like the erection slips away.
When my partner touches my penis, and it’s not erect, or fully erect. When I bottom, I always lose my erection.
putting on a condom, doing anythin other than missionary, and first time sex.
Spectatoring often occurs for me the moment I realise sex is in the picture. This could be minutes or days beforehand. Sometimes, it’s seconds into foreplay when the realisation hits that it’s game time. Any duration of time before sex, as soon as I acknowledge that sex could happen.
Putting on a condom. Them getting in a position to bottom. Them noticing my unerect penis
When I approach my wife and she’s busy or not in the mood and puts me out off the mood I get in my head thinking I’m not good enough in bed for her to want me and then when she’s done and available I then feel the pressure of getting it up
Transitioning from foreplay to intercourse is a huge flag for my spectator to start whispering doubts and weaving anxiety
Overthinking that i’ll lose an erection eventually leads to me not being able to maintain my erection