Nothing specific I don’t think. Not 100% - I don’t think I’ve ever identified a specific action or sequence that initiates my mental block. For me, it’s the overall act of sex where I am taken away from the passion because all I can think is “any minute now you won’t be hard”.
For me there are usually two.
- Is a blow job, there have been very few times where I’m getting a blow job that I remain hard. Maybe I focus so much on maintaining an erection that I can’t seem to feel the pleasurable sensations I should be feeling. I know I get in my head when they touch my penis and think are they judging how hard I am? The size? Is it enough? Opposed to just enjoying the sensations.
- Condoms I almost always lose an erection with a condom unless I’ve taken a pill. Again, I focus on the idea that maybe I won’t feel anything while using the condom, lose my erection, and set myself up for failure.
These have been my most common situational performance anxieties and thoughts.
The exact same thing happens to me. I have no problem during foreplay. I even feel confident this time I’ll be able to perform. But then we move to intercourse, I reach for a condom or lube, or just make the decision to penetrate, and I quickly go to my head. I’m not sure if it’s the condom itself what triggers me, or the condom signaling that it’s time to go.
It’s not so much the erection it’s the premature ejaculation through performance anxiety and just wanting to pleasure her! We been together 13 year and only over the last 6 months ish its been happening now I am really in head about it and making it worse which in relation does slightly effect my erection then adding to the performance anxiety it’s a bad cycle I can’t seam to break
I feel like doggy style is the most pleasurable physically but always gets me into a point of spectatoring. That or conversation. Dirty talk is hot, but it can sometimes distract me and I’m flaccid quite quickly.
Feeling like I’m getting less hard begins to scare me. Then I can lose my erecting, but not always.
I have struggled with condoms in the past (only reason I don’t struggle now is because I don’t use them with my partner anymore) in my head I think the time it takes to put it on will make it go down.
If I was not able to have sex recently it triggers anxiety and worry that it will happen again.
So of course to prevent it from happening I pre plan everything and if things don’t go according to plan I start to worry.
Kim
My triggers are when we switch positions. For some reason I loose focus and as soon as we begin to switch i start to go limp. I then start to freak out and it makes the situation even worse.
New parter. It’s always tense
My spectatoring begins during foreplay when I begin to think about time to put it in which obviously then causes me to lose my erection. It gets worse with putting on a condom even when my girlfriend does it because I’m worried out how the condom is going to feel
Struggle to penetrate or rushing to penetrate like Only a certain length of time causing frustration and anxiety
No specific situations. Just talk myself into believing I can’t get it up when I’m about to have sex.
My trigger is always when it seems like she isn’t enjoying it as much anymore. Or the moment I feel I’m already close to climaxing. I bring myself back into my head to not get so excited but that always just makes me panic making PE even worse
I have experienced anxiety about putting the condom on, but the issue progressed beyond that and affected me even when not using one.
Just the moments leading up my mind stressing about that fact if I get it up or not
Nothing specific. I’ve just been massively overwhelmed since one bad encounter where I couldn’t keep my erection. I think about it most of every day at this point.
The first time I have sex with someone. Putting a condom on. When the woman isn’t using her hands enough. When the woman comments (verbally or via body language) about me taking a long time to get an erection.
Foreplay isn’t usually a problem. It’s the transition from that into intercourse (or head) where I start to lose the erection.
I hate not being fully hard when I penetrate. Makes me feel like I’m doing a worse job.
Transitioning from foreplay to intercourse is when I get anxious. When it comes time to penetrate I lose my erection, even when I’ve had an erection in my pants for 10-20 mins. So when a woman get nude and our nude bodies touch, has meant I need to penetrate soon, and ironically that has become my trigger.
Going down on my partner, even though it’s one of my favourite things, requires a bit of concentration to do a good job. Sometimes I can’t use one hand to keep myself hard because I need two hands for the task. Often then my hard-on goes down which is probably normal but I start to panic and then struggle to get it up again. I’ve noticed that I go down on my partner less and less to avoid this.