Thinking about trying a new position or doing something new, or when Incant get hard even with manual stimulation for some time
Condoms
sex in general
While taking the break to put a condom on or any disruption in the flow and then thinking I better be able to finish her.
Switching positions or after orgasm
One night stands and putting condoms on
Transitioning from foreplay to intercourse. Because of this, I don’t even enjoy the build up to sex because I’m so worried about what will happen next. That’s why I turn down opportunities or don’t look for them (even though I know I want it).
Even in my dreams that’s the point I’d wake up - because that’s where I assume it will go wrong.
I think it’s because that’s when I feel the pressure to impress/satisfy begin.
Going from foreplay to intercourse
Noticing I’m not getting hard quick enough during foreplay will make me anxious
A break in foreplay or preemptive self doubt when my partner starts leading on about sex and questions why I’m not hard yet.
Having sex, putting condoms on
To be honest everything at this point regarding the sexual interaction. If I’m being honest with myself, I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t even want to start something because I’m afraid it won’t work off the bat. I’m already thinking that if we start foreplay, then it will lead to sex more than likely, to which I’ll disappoint her. Even during foreplay, I’m focusing on hoping that I’ll get an erection. Just the thought of not getting an erection and disappointing my partner is happening before we even begin.
Just the thought alone triggers intense palpitations that makes me begin to look for a way out.
If a new partner feels for my groin when making out and I haven’t got hard yet, it completely breaks me out of the moment… “am I hard yet, if not, why?”
Exactly as they said in the clip, that time between foreplay and putting the condom on is a killer. Particularly if I know she’s lying there waiting for me. I think I’m going to take their advice and get her more involved from now on.
Switching from the focus on my partner to myself during sex always triggers it. Making sure I’m hard enough when they’re wanting to give me pleasure so I don’t insult them by losing it. Also the focus on myself when we switch from foreplay to intercourse places pressure on myself to be hard.
If I manage to stay hard enough to begin intercourse, I sometimes feel like I’m not big enough or hard enough for certain positions to be working for my partner so I immediately shut down with feelings of shame despite the fact my penis is pushing the top end of average size when erect. It doesn’t make sense to me.
During intercourse if there is any sense that my partner isn’t enjoying it or make a sound that I interpret as pain (which is almost always sounds of pleasure) it’s like I immediately lose my erection. Almost as though my body shuts down because I interpret it as I’m doing something I shouldn’t be.
Struggling to get inside the vagina, and my partner starts to feel offended by things really causes biggest triggers. And then when I do get inside, my penis so sensitive that I emasculate in less than 1 minute. And she expects me to somehow remain erect to continue
Feelings of doubt and guilt make me anxious.
In an ENM relationship. Group sex situations where there are literal spectators.
Definitely condoms, after putting it I try to penetrate and during that it always go soft and I can’t do it no longer. I get flustered, and try to pleasure my partner with guilt.
The thought of sex and not getting an erection sometimes kills the mood for me totally.
I worry if she is having a good time or not. If I think she is not I can fail.
Certain positions also can cause me to think this is not pleasurable and I lose my erection