I’ve been working on my mental health and negative thought patterns that have been affecting my sex life with my wife - feeling a bit stuck in cycles of worrying about getting it up, which then makes that issue happen, worrying that’ll upset my wife, getting into big conversations about it and ending up frustrating her. We often end up having sex after these big conversations but I want to get to the point where I’m not thinking negatively in the first place, or at least able to manage these negative thoughts better. I know there’s really nothing to worry about, but sometimes it feels like I don’t have the tools to change this pattern. Appreciate this community a lot and any similar experiences/general supportive comments would be great, and help me feel like I’m not the only one this happens to! Thanks everyone
You’re not alone, same issue for me but with PE… Stress and anxiety about sex, then it happens, she gets frustrated and mad and the cycle continues! Try some of the meditations and calming exercises, those really help me calm down before sex (and in general). Best of luck, you’ve got this!
I can totally relate. Not sure if you have seen my comments on here so if I repeat myself I apologize. Not sure how it was for you but my issue kind of came out of the field. This led me to spiral . And like you I have long conversations with my wife and definitely helps and then we have sex and seems to be better. But as far as the tools that you need. I went to the urologist right away to get checked out because I’m 47 years old he gave me Viagra saying that even if it was psychological that would give me a boost and help break the cycle. It did help but it’s been a little bit of a challenge getting off of it. Which I have done successfully once but now I am back using it again. I would say the breathing exercises, kegels, and open and honest conversation. Second to that a few times spontaneous sex has helped and gave me confidence when my wife has initiated it. Lastly really truly is a mental game. That’s easier said than done I know. Remind yourself of all the good times you’ve had and try hard not to remind yourself of the bad . You definitely can beat this thing I promise! I have made so much progress and I have hope. Good luck and God bless.