Lose my erection on penetration, even when fantasising

Im 43 and have always had performance anxiety and taken a while to get hard and stay hard with partners.
I have been dating a new girl for 12 months, we work together. Shes not confident bodywise so have always had sex in the dark. I prefer the light on to see her but I dont judge. I would struggle to get hard and even when I did, I would lose on penetration. I started taking L-citrulline as part of my gym stack ans also before sex. We have sex twice per week. It works but im never fully hard and im always thinking about it which makes it worse.

Recently I discovered that when I fantasise about penetrative sex with my girlfriend, as soon as I insert my penis, I lose all arousal and erection. That’s how bad it is.

I have erections and wake up with erections so I know its not physical. 10 months ago my testosterone was above average so I know its not that.

Im just constantly worried.

A friend at the gym told me about cialis. He uses it for the gym and foe sex, rakes 5mg twice per week. Says Mrs amazing.

Ive ordered some ans want to take it but the thing is I havent told my girlfriend. She doesnt know I take l-citrulline but she just know I take something as it went from 0 to 100 overnight last year.

Its killing my confidence, its making me depressed and I cant sleep out of worry. She has had a lot more sexual partners than me, that part doesnt bother me as her history isn’t my business but I worry I wont live up to her experience. Although in the past ive been told im very good in bed, not blowing my own trumpet. This also makes it frustrating.

Do I tell her or do I take cialis and hope it builds my confidence more and then try to ween myself off it?

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It’s always better to be up front and honest. Having conversations about things that make you feel uncomfortable ultimately strengthen the bond you have with your partner and then you find that youstop worrying about it in your daily life. Communication will lower that anxiety.

Sex is not black and white, it’s gray as f*ck. If your partner is understanding and compassionate and patient with you, then you don’t need to worry about it like it’s done kind of test. You aren’t going to pass or fail. Sex isn’t a sport, it’s art and nobody wins in art, art is just admired.

Once you realize that you don’t need to worry, things will start to fall together

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These are some wise words!

I am in same boat I have terrible performance anxiety constantly hard in the morning, if I masterbate I can stay hard for 50 mins the minute I am around a woman I can’t get hard unless I play with it and then I cum when I go in and it’s shattered my confidence, it’s truly horrible. Cialis and L-argrine sound great. Cialis can be taken daily I think.