The problem started when i was 18 and I finally got my first girlfriend. I was quite a shy guy, but i really wanted to act cool. I never told her i was a virgin. We spend the forst few nights just kissing, then she gave me some handjobs, no issues whatsoever. But then when we tried to have sex the moment i tried to put on the condom, no erection. I didn’t know what was happening back then. The problem continued for the second and maybe the third time we tried. Finally i managed to have a sexual encounter and after that i had no issues whatsoever with that girl for the length of the relationship which lasted 4 years.
After we broke up i hooked up with another girl, for a ONS i was rock hard during the foreplay but just when i was about to take my underwear of, again no erection. I put it to the fact that i wasn’t really attracted to her so i did not really made a big deal out of it.
After that i started dating a girl i really liked. I fell madly in love with her just after the first dates. So again when it came down to it no erection. This time I really started to panic because i really liked her and I was so attracted to her. First time i realised i could not get hard and made an excuse i did not have a condom, i think the second time when things started to get hot again i made some excuse to leave. I was literally running away from sex. The third timr i think i managed to enter her, but i came instsntly. She was understsnding. After a few more attepts i managed to have good sex with her. After that again no issues during the relationship which was 2 years. It was lime a barrier that i passed and after thst the issue was gone. After i broke up with her i was quite confident really thinking that the problem was gone.
I hooked up with another girl for a few nights stand. First time i managed to enter her after she gave me a blowjob to get hard bot got a semi while inside her and after a while we stopped. The next morning i felt really relaxed during foreplay and we mabaged to have incresible sex without issues.
After her i got with the girl thet i had spent the last 5 years with. With her even tough i was a bit nervous i had sex with her from the first attempt and i really felt like the problem was gone and nor problems during the whole 5 years as well. Afer we broke up we continued to have ocasional sex, and one day i tried to hook up with a girl for a ONS and the problem was back. This time I completley freaked out and while searching for a remedy i bought some viagra just to have in handy for ONSs
While having the viagra in my pocket i was feeling more confident. I had a girl come by my house one night. Things got hot, i was rock hard during foreplay but just to be sure, i excused my self to go to the bathroom to taky my viagra, but then surprise. I realised thst i left my wallet in my car and no viagra on me. I came back to her thinking whatever happens happens, and to my surprise i did not have any issues that night. I was exilarated, so happy. It was like the universe planned this to help me get over my problems. Then a few days I went with this girl on a trip and decided to take a night at a local hotel. After deciding this my eart started to pound. I don’t know ehat i was thinking, perhaps i was a fraid not to let her down after the great sex that we had. So we got in the room and both got in the shower. I was rock hars untill i decided to penetrate her in the shower even though i was feeling a bit anxious. Needless to say i lost the erection just a few seconds after entering her. The panic started to.settle. we got out of the shower and into the bed, she tried to touch me in all the ways possible but i was so much in my head thst there was no way i was getting it up. The feeling of panic was worse than anyother time in my life. I said to here that i cannot do anything at the moment so we should get out for a walk and dinner. During the whole evening i hat this know in my stomach and i knew that if i’m not going to relax sex will be impossible. I tred breathing exercises paying attention to her in conversation. Nothing worked. After dinner i excused myself to the bathroom, this time i had a qarter of a pill ready and I took it.
We came back to the room and as we started the foreplay my penis was rock hard and it stayed that way. After returning home we did not see eachother for a week but during thst week i was so anxious. The next encounter with her the anxiety was really high and i took a lower dose of the pill. We had great sex again, but i kept thinking in my mind, was it me or was it the pill. The next few encounters i decided not to take the pill anymore. She came over my place again i was feeling thst knot in my stomach and the anxiety was skyrocketing. I wasn’t even able to get it up during foreplay. I decidet to speek woth her ablut my problem. She was so understsnding and kind that it took the whole pressure off and got hard again and managed to have sex. After this a few days later when she came by the story repeated itself. Anxiety high untill i managed to relax. There was a night with her when i was really panicking and never managed to have sex at all after that it all spiraled down out of control. It is the first time that this happens usually the problem solved by itself after a good encounter but this time the problem seems to persist and the anxiety is worse than i ever experienced in my life. What do you think of my story? Any advice or support would be appreciated.
