So me and the wife, have 2 kids… they aren’t great sleepers so we have to squeeze adult time in as and where we can… I’ve had issues maintaining erections for a while now. And I had hoped that joining mojo and listening to the therapy sessions would help put me in a better headspace and help me maintain one for the duration of at least 1 lovemaking session… well, no such luck. The heavy petting is fine, it gets semi firm, and I go to put a rubber on and it vanishes, I get it back and try again, and it vanishes… i don’t know what to do. I’m so sick of letting my wife down, myself down and My gender as a whole down…
That sounds super frustrating. I’m a dad of two as well and I am familiar with that “this is our window to have sex!” feeling, which in itself is a source of pressure, although kinda unavoidable when you’re a busy parent.
Have you had any conversations with your partner about it? Is your inner critic staying loud?
I resonated with what you said about rubbers, the act of putting on a condom is a psychological block for me. I’m hoping a more experienced member of the Mojo community can chime in with their thoughts on all this.
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Been there, and have had the same issue. For me, it was a matter of just constantly talking to her . Saying sweet nothings if you will. Focusing on my voice and her awesome beauty allowed me to forget everything else.
Try the meditation. For me it’s been an issue with my mind and body not being in sync. Sounds like the same for you. If my 2 cents mean anything
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Can she put it on while kissing you or talking to you? Sounds like the mental block is happening when you go to put the condom on…Have you tried other contraception?
Yep… I’ve been on mojo for quite a while and I see the “condom” issue a lot, and have been there as part of my journey.
It seems to be a recurring theme throughout this community.
I’ve tried a few tricks… have the condom close at hand and pre-opened… those packs can be “slippery when wet”
Pop a decent cock ring on at the same time, that can help.
But mainly…… in that critical moment… focussing on her and not yourself… plus the usual…. meditation, wax and wane, and box breathing… not always easy if you are in a busy family situation I know.
Thanks for your reply. I wonder if putting a condom on while masturbating works for other people. It might not address performance anxiety, but it might condition the penis to more comfortable and hard while the condom is on.