Hi all,
I downloaded mojo about 18 months ago after getting soft inside a girl and getting very in my head about it, but I stopped using the app after about a week and got stuck in a cycle of stress and fear that made penetrative sex impossible for ages. However, after a particularly stressful experience 1 months ago with a girl I really liked, I decided to give it another shot and boy am I glad I did. I have since had pretty great penetrative sex twice with another girl who I knew back before I started obsessing over my erections so much. I even hooked up again with the other girl and, even though I wasn’t able to stay up while penetrating her this time I was able not to judge myself nearly as much, kept a sense of humor about it, and we both had a really nice time. I’m very excited to keep exploring on this app every day. I’m including some of my observations over the last month for the convenience of all:
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PORN
Quitting porn helped, but mostly because it forced me to confront some of the anxieties and self hatreds I have been using it to distract myself from (I also cut back majorly on all other Internet videos using screenzen). However, I have watched porn once or twice since and I don’t think it harmed me at all. The real issue is the urge to scroll endlessly past potential videos/women, but even that is ok once in a while. I like the “stories” on this app as an alternative. And if you must, always watch amateurs, they at least look like real people. And always remember that all porn is fake and even if it’s totally realistic, watching doesn’t feel like doing, so dont get used to it. -
MENTAL HEALTH.
This app can help, but get in therapy too. My good days also feature exercise, even just yoga helps. Short circuiting my fear and getting in my body is essential, sensory training is great for that. When I use it, of course… -
PENETRATION!
I absolutely have more than a bit of a death grip. Lube, slowing down, and feeling in myself help, but it’s still difficult to cum without squeezing harder. That said, I was able to cum inside my old flame (in a condom) after switching back and forth between thrusting into her and rubbing my head back and forth against her clit, both of which we loved. With the other girl, I was able to get hard in her mouth and by stroking myself hard but I felt nothing inside her. The lesson there is relaxing and feeling playful, which is naturally easier with my old friend than with my new one. Preparation has to feel good to last and that means touching as little as possible beforehand. If I’m pumping away, focusing on getting hard, I can force myself, but it takes ages and it stops as soon as that specific sensation stops. Seems pretty straightforward but I never made the connection before. -
EMOTIONS!
It’s easier with the girl I know than my new friend (everyone knows, I’m not cheating) because I feel more connected to her and I care about her in a deeper way. Not sure what to make of this. However, I have had a much nicer time all around since I started mojo. Also, I take a different role with each girl, more dominant and paternal with my old friend, more passive and cared for with my new one. It’s ok to feel different ways and do different things with different people.
5:PLEASURE
much higher since mojo in all cases. Everything feels better, I’m getting better at tuning into my sensations and RECEIVING pleasure. That said, some people are just more skilled at giving pleasure than others, for whatever reason. Some can get you up easier than others and there’s nothing wrong with this. And some people can’t do a thing for you, no matter how sexy they are, particularly of you have a stressful past together.
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PATIENCE AND LOVE
If you don’t love yourself enough to accept yourself and your anatomy regardless of what shape he assumes, you aren’t going to have much fun in bed or anywhere else. Likewise, if your sex partner can’t at least be genuinely patient, and accepting, they’re the one with the problem, not you. Provided you are willing to make sure they’re feeling great and getting off, which is the least you can do for someone in bed, they should be completely accepting of your need for extra time or different forms of pleasure. If not, politely move on and find someone else. It doesn’t matter how stunning someone is on the outside. If they are too judgemental and insecure to be with you the way you need, provided you do your job and keep em glowing, it’s never going to work. -
DESIRE
Fantasies are great for masterbation. Picture whoever you want, but I suggest imagining, in high detail, what it would have been like to make it with girls you wanted to be with in the past but never could. Rewrite your own internal history, it’s great for the soul and cuts down on regrets. Simmering is amazing and you should absolutely make a point of doing it for at least a week leading up to a sexual encounter. Get the juices flowing, but probably not literally. Waxing and waining is recommended but the longer you go without cumming leading up to sex, the more passionate you’ll be. Definitely don’t cum less than 24 hours before.
Misc.
Make sure your condoms are the right size and material. Try a bunch of them.
Let yourself be held and cared for. If you can’t show emotions in front of her, she’s not the one. But also learn to hold yourself and feel your feelings.
If you’re not feeling turned on, don’t force it. Take a break and decide yourself to her for a bit, she’ll thank you.
Try letting her put a finger up you, it’s awesome.
Best of luck, all!
