I think previously I’ve always felt some shame and guilt around porn use because it felt like a sore of cheat-system for getting turned on and. I also feared it would mean I couldn’t get turned on in real life. I’ve come to see it more as something I need to cultivate a healthy relationship with, rather than trying to be all-or-nothing which never works.
I come from a background of deep religious sexual shame and so of course porn has always felt like I can feel the heat from the ol’ hellfire (even though I’m no longer religious). Approaching it from a different angle and just hearing a professional’s outlook on porn is very helpful.
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I was very ashamed of it earlier. Now I just find it a stress relief that can take from the attention I give to my sexual relationship w my partner
It was very taboo and something I’ve hidden from my partner as she’s never shown any interest in it.
I felt shame about porn because the first time I came was when I discovered porn around age 12 or 13, and I skipped out on a vacation family outing because I was so riveted. I’m also ashamed of and have tried not to explore my potential kinky interest in ravishment porn…
Recently my therapist asked if I was using porn to self-sooth (meaning I was feeing anxious, bored, or stressed and wanted to replace that feeling with orgasmic feelings).
I realized that this is my motivation for watching it most of the time! So I’ve been trying to focus on feeling good and sexy about myself before I watch it and finding other ways to self sooth.
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I’ve watched porn for ever and do use it to explore kinks and fantasies. My partner is very dismissive of it and made me feel guilty for using it. Our sex life was not as exciting as I’d like so porn was a substitute. But my partner stopped wanting sex with me over 10 years ago so porn became my only source of sexual relief.
I found myself using it to self smooth and using it nearly every day when I was alone in the house. Every time I came, my thoughts were ‘well at least that’s over now’ or ‘I’ll never be having sex again with a woman’ and I felt bitter and reeentful. Over the past few years I’ve slowly developed ED and now can’t get really hard while watching porn. I feel my body has betrayed me… even if I could have sex again my penis has rebelled. I still really desire sex even though having ED means I can’t get hard! What a frustration!!
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Yes it has i constantly compare. I also always feel dirty and gross afterwards. Like my conscious is judging me on the inside and out. My inner voice then becomes very negative and that can lead to other issues later on. But I’m learning to embrace and combat these issues with porn head on, once and for all.
The information here is really helpful, especially the bit that one’s experience of porn doesn’t need to be the same as one’s real sex life and that you can enjoy both. I also like being made aware of ethical porn and plan to explore that further.
I had a past girlfriend who asked what kind of porn I watched. She said she knew I did and she didn’t mind because we still had good experiences together. But she thought we could watch some together and fool around. She ending up not liking the experience of watching it with me so I guess I felt strange about it sense then. And knowing that she knew what I liked but didn’t find it “good” to her…
I stumbled quite early directly onto the very specific sexual fetish and kink that is still the only way to get me turned on with porn. Over the years I have fought it, as this fetish isn’t one I can practically share with my partner and I have long attributed its power as the source of the ED with my partner. I suffer from sexually induced sneezing (Google it!) which has always further confirmed how ingrained the fetish. This has caused me a lot shame and sadness over the years as it made me feel I am under the control of my fetish (porn being the outlet of it), rather than vice versa. Recently I’ve been finding some new kinks and avenues away from this fetish and away from porn entirely while masturbating that are exciting but equally taboo. I am coming to realise that this imaginary battle I’ve long fought in my head this battle between this kink fetish and my partnered sex life but I’m coming to realise it’s possible to enjoy both simultaneously without the feelings of shame.
I grew up with the internet so pretty much every time I jerked off was to porn. Obviously studio porn is very unrealistic, I find myself on Twitter mostly these days. But I’m starting to feel reliant on it and I don’t like that.
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Porn seems to get me aroused quickly, it takes me out of my own head and away from my insecurities so no anxiety is present. I am then able to satisfy and feel confident in this environment vs the doubt and worry with my own thoughts with a partner.
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I think once I started having ed problems I started to blame porn and feel guilty whenever I would watch it. I should diversify my porn intake and remember that most people don’t have a problem with it
I’m still learning to change my perception of porn usage since I’ve learned that I personally can’t really stop watching it completely. It was refreshing to watch a video of people talking openly about porn without shame, I think that could help change my negative self-talk