I just did the first mindful masturbation exercise, and it was certainly helpful, but it asked us to share our experiences of guilt around masturbation, so here I go. Since I started masturbating as a teen, I’ve always felt the need to do it while hiding in some way due to my parents religion and somewhat conservative parenting. I still see masturbation as something I have to “get away with” in a lot of ways.
Since I’ve lived on my own an developped a much more “liberal” lifestyle I’ve shed a lot of shame, but regret much of the time wasted by trying to fit a mould that wasn’t made for me. Even so, relationship issues and other mental health problems have contributed to a lack of sex drive, and I get the impression that the pleasure I get from masturbation is pleasure I should be sharing with my partner, even though that’s not in the cards right now.
I know that these beliefs can be a kind of self-sabotage, but it’s very difficult to change them, even when there’s every reason to do so.
All the same, I believe that I can grow, that I can develop a discipline, and that I can learn new things to take the place of old beliefs that don’t serve me any more. I know that struffle is a part of the process, a big part of the process, and not a reason to think that I’m failing, or that the process is failing me.
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I’m with ya.
I did it in secret for 30? years. I think I was/am way too used to my own touch and have an unhealthy relationship with porn…
Working on both with the aid of this app and those on it.
Good luck man.
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