Was talking to a girl for about a month, building lots of anticipation for our meet up first date to test the waters. If things went well we’d hook up. The date went amazing… one of the best girls I’ve met. We agreed to somewhere to hook up. I knew I had some issues going into it staying hard but I was hoping it would have been different. The foreplay was great and we probably explored each others bodies for 30 minutes using our hands and mouths and I can tell she was extremely into me. When it came for me to have sex with her my hard on started to go away. Eventually it came back and I busted really quickly, getting nervous and not being able to go a second round. She was pretty nice about it, and she did cum early in the foreplay a couple times but I knew she wanted dick. Since the date the shift in interest is palpable. Going from nice texts every day, to just dropping me breadcrumbs now with one answer every couple of days via text. So essentially she’s done and not going to comeback. I feel really terrible, about my own performance and the lack of communication I offered before. I think it at least helped me realize that I do need to speak a bit about my issues to help overcome then. I hope I get another chance… even if I do though I know I will need a pill for the time being to perform.
OP here again just adding. The fact she hasn’t said anything is also eating away at my psych. I need the closure or something but I don’t think I’m going to get it. I want so badly to be able to explain my side but there’s no way I can message her again out of the blue with this kind of stuff when she isn’t answering my texts. Too little too late, it really is a learning experience I guess… I just really can’t stress how nice this girl was and I think if I was honest about it initially, or even just taken a pill while I worked on myself with mojo it could have helped a lot
You didn’t fumble anything, the approach to dating here is completely wrong and it will cause issues. By wanting sex that badly on the first meet up your not actually engaging in a meaningful connection with her. Your interaction together is actually nothing more than lust driven. This means that whatever chemistry you had was actually destroyed by that lust. Think about it, a good looking girl can get sex (which you guys did) from literally ANY man. She just needs to use a dating app. By having sex immediately as most men tend to when they get the opportunity too you become “any man” to her. So when you don’t perform she will just go back to the market or lose interest. Ironically if you hadn’t had sex with her she’d probably be more curios about you. My advice would be to acknowledge that this hook up happened. But if your trying to date avoid women like this. She isn’t interested in a relationship and by the sounds of it neither where you. The best sex always comes in a relationship where you are both comfortable and not engaging in a lustful fuck together which heightens the nerves. She isn’t dating or wifey material and you didn’t represent yourself as husband material in this instance (I’m sure you are though!). With women I have found whenever I focused on the end result of “sex” I failed, struggled or had a bad interaction. When I focused on acknowledging her humanity and kindred spirit and an equal and got to know her, the sex was incredible, and the end result was more sex than when I had the other mentality of lust that drives all men.
I feel for ya man.
I’m just out of a 23 yr marriage and have PED, death grip and an unhealthy relationship with porn….
I met a wonderful woman. I was very up front about my ED. It was 3 dates before I even kissed her tho. We were making out in the couch and I said I’m not going to push to go further. Saying we’d go at her pace. 2 dates later in conversation I mentioned that I’d been tested before entering the dating pool. She thought that was a good idea and she decided to get tested and we both decided to take oral and sex off the table till her results. At that point I got really honest about Ed. She understood and was super supportive. During those 2 weeks I can’t count how many times I got her off with my hand…. She was super excited before sex was even an option.
What I’m saying is in “our” situation spontaneous sex on the first date may not be possible or may lead to more heartache….
I should add that I found this app and discovered my issues as a result of the app. I’m working daily on them and making progress. It ain’t overnight. Pills couldn’t overcome what was going on in my head…
Good luck man!!