Yes, I get anxious during sex, I get hard then get soft almost immediately, then hard again. I burst out quickly too
Not, I feel like i m not valuable if I cannot pemetrete, I m in my head thinking everytime, will it work now?
I get very anxious, and when I don’t perform a part of me feels like I’m not a man.
Yes,after first failure this thought always come before the sex
I overthink it
I have always had it since 16. Now I’m 23. I’ve never know what a normal sex life is. I don’t often have any issue with anything sexual other than penetration. Oral is fine, hands are fine. My partner and I have a laugh and have fun in the bedroom but I am always in my own head. When she grabs a condom that’s it, my body just shuts down and it feels so awful. I feel like a failure, I feel like I’m not a man, I feel ashamed, embarrassed and like I’m letting my partner down. I can’t give her something so basic and fundamental in a relationship. How can I ever expect to keep someone if I can’t even offer the basics?
I constantly worry for my penis to get hard when I’m in foreplay and and then it either won’t go hard or won’t stay hard
In 32 and had my first problem at 17, but I attributed it to having been taking a lot of MDMA at the time. It didn’t happen again until around 24/25 when I was married to a woman who weaponized nearly everything against me as if my issues created her insecurities and was not understanding in the slightest, even after I confirmed at the doctor that I had a large prostate in my mid-20’s. Made me feel like garbage about it constantly and even told friends about it without telling me.
After our divorce, I went on a few years of ‘using’ partners…engaging in sex, with no attachment, and sort of treating my partners like they were ‘talking sex dolls’ …I noticed that my issue almost never happened. I never attributed the problem to being psychological, since I knew I had prostate issues. Just convinced myself that THAT MUST BE IT.
I grew up in juvie centers and didn’t experience sexual acts with a partner until almost 17yrs old. From 13-26 I had an addiction to both porn and masterbation. Spent many years jerking off 2-5 times a day, near daily. It wasn’t even because I was horny…I had just been doing it so long, it became routine. When I cut porn out entirely, I have noticeable improvements and even more so when I don’t masterbate much.
It’s difficult because I’ve always been a highly sexual person and that’s one of the primary ways I connect and strengthen the connection with my partner. It makes me feel so emasculated and worthless when I can’t perform.
My partner now is a blessing and we recently had to have the convo about it (took a couple months before I got those thoughts about performance and I guess created the issue). She was the first to even talk to me and offered to help in any way I thought she could. That alone…knowing she wasn’t going to leave and wanted to help me made such a difference. It almost instantly made it so I could relax a little and it takes a minute or two to start getting hard and keeping it hard is finicky…but, that compassion and understanding…wow. I didn’t know people like that existed. I haven’t told her about this app yet cause I just started today, but I know she’ll be more than willing to work with me on it
Sorry this was long winded. Been dealing with this a LONG time and have only ever really talked about it with a male best friend who also has prostate issues.
Yes, in the lead up and sometimes during. The anxiety of not being able to perform, including getting or keeping an erection, has diminished my desire for having sex. On top of that, we are attempting to have a kid so there is added pressure to perform while my wife is ovulating.
Yes - it affects my ability to get an erection which affects my confidence and relationship. I can’t seems to switch off which affects my performance
I recently ended a relationship where my partner was very insensitive and frightened me: both in regular and sexual parts of our relationship. After some time I began to associate sex with fear and non-safety.
Now I am trying to enter a new relationship with a new person, and we are trying to have sex. I can’t get hard with her. I really struggle to “let my guard down”, and feel safe with her. She hasn’t done anything to make me apprehensive, but I have still not un-learned the fear instilled in me by my previous partner.
Yeah, i just get into these thought loops and cant get it up
Yes, I always am so worried about whether my penis will become wrest or not that I end up not focusing on what’s going on and the intimacy of the moment with my partner. It leads to me not enjoying it as much and often leads to a lack of an erection
I get afraid I am not going to be able to give the pleasure that I want to. I get scared I’m not pleasing my partner. I come really quickly when I put it in, so this makes me anxious.
im 27, after a rough period with my long term partner, i found it hard to maintain an erection. i also recently started taking an anti-depressant which is known for causing ED though i feel like there’s still a psychological component. i felt my libido decrease (i stopped watching porn and it hasn’t been hard to abstain) and i wasn’t wanting to have sex because i was worried i wouldn’t be able to keep an erection. this made my partner feel rejected which made things worse. i’m being proactive and trying to get to the root of the problem. i’ve been able to ejaculate once or twice from blowjobs and handjobs but penetration is always the part which makes me soft. i’m worried that the rest of my future sex life is going to be tainted by this.
No
It started with my first relationship. The first time was fine and didn’t have an issue. Then the second time is when it all started… I couldn’t get it up. From then on I researched why and I was in my head only making it worse. My partner however was very understanding and after maybe 2 months I never had an issue again… That was until I was single again and It started to happen with certain partners but not all the time.
If I get it up early and continue moving forward, like I’m making progress, then get it in, I’m good. But if I slow down or feel like the hook up is stalling even for a moment I’ll lose it. Can be difficult to get back once the cycle begins of me telling myself I NEED to get hard again now
Causes me to lose erection. I fear not preforming how I should and losing erection mid performance, ironic isn’t it ? It has affected an relationship and sexual encounters and is hard to surpass that
anxiety. I still got time so I wanna make sure I recover
As soon as its time to get intimate with a new partner I can’t get hard the first time