Things haven’t quite been the same since my last relationship. I’ve had good periods and bad. Years later it’s something I’m still struggling with and would like to get a better understanding of how to address it. I’m an overthinker by nature which doesn’t help but feel it’s extremely mental because if I have a few drinks, that anxiety fades because I’m not in my head as much.
Yes. Anxiety during sex makes me overthink and stops me from enjoying the monent, so my penis wont get hard.
I do. I often overthink and worry about performance or how i look/sound which completely removes me from the pleasure of the act. The anxiety grows from that point and it has ruined the vibe of the experience on more than one occasion.
worry that I will lose my hard on and can’t please my partner
I do get anxiety during sex because i am overthinking everything , just because I’m trying to please my partner as best as i can
All the time these days. I worry about getting hard. I realised it stems back to not having sex for a literal decade (I was really insanely busy and the years just flew by). Roll on 39 and there was anxiety there I never realised existed. Now it’s a constant worry.
Example: On Saturday I woke up hard, started making out with my partner, and then suddenly, flaccid. Completely soul-destroying and utterly emasculating. And there’s no reason for it (my penis works perfectly when I’m not under pressure).
1 Like
This is it in a nutshell. We see it happen once and then start to focus on it! It’s breaking that cycle that’s the hard part…
1 Like
Became a spectator for many years. Would spiral out of control with bad and negative thoughts .Lost trust with my body.Can’t be present in the moment.Constantly overthinking why I wasn’t hard. Full of embarrassment and would avoid sexual encounters.
Exactly like the course says I get anxious start to think about the little things when I should just be enjoying myself and completely ruin it for myself
I do. My problem is maintaining an erection and I’m very aware of this fact and probably try and rush the act, with the anticipation that I will lose my erection at some point.
Always, I’ve never been able to fully let go of myself during it and I’ve been told by previous partners they can sense that. My mind is constantly running thinking about the quality of the pleasure I’m providing to my partner, when masturbating it’s just me and I have control of the whole experience whereas with sex it’s a joint experience and therefore I feel like I’ve lost an element of control.
I often get anxious during sex especially with new partners. I feel like if I can’t perform well then no one will ever love me.This affects how I view relationships, I often feel it’s much easier to be alone so I don’t have to feel the pressure that comes with sex.
Overcome my anxiety and help relax to enjoy it more
Became a spectator for many years. Would spiral out of control with bad and negative thoughts .Lost trust with my body.Can’t be present in the moment.Constantly overthinking why I wasn’t hard. Full of embarrassment and would avoid sexual encounters.
Yes every now and then. It tends to prevent me from boing in the moment and enjoying the experience as I used to.
Inadequate, not a man, useless, failed, sad to the point of tears incredibly stressed
After coming out of a yearish long relationship of normal sex life my first experience after while drunk/on drugs i couldnt properly get it up to start. It was fine afterwards, and the next couple of times with that girl i was anxious about it but it was fine. After her there was a few months of a gap, and in that time i started to doubt myself. Im not sure when or why it started exactly, it feels like its crept up on me. My next 3 experiences after that I failed to get it up. It can be put down to “too much drink” 2 of the times (not really an obscene amount especially for somebody who drinks as much as I would) and the third down to drug intake. That aside, regardless of my sobriety, I was extremely self concious each time, almost sobering, as to whether I would get hard or not. Each time, failing.Extremely embarassing for me however each girl just believe ah its a one off he’s too drunk whatever. My one problem is that I don’t have a sober experience to base it off - in my head, if I do and it works, then okay maybe its just when im drunk etc that I can’t get it up, which might not be okay but it atleast gives me a foundation to work off. Unfortunately with my peer group I only encounter these situations when I am drinking, and at this stage I’m anxious at the thought of being in the situation sober and not getting it up purely by phsycing myself out.
I’ve had problems with performance on and off for a long time- I have trouble being inside my own head, and as time goes on the anxiety gets stronger.
Yes, unhappy stressed
I absolutely get anxious during sex. I’m worried about not doing the right thing (especially since my partner is more experienced than I am) and I’m worried about letting my partner down and disappointing her (she has some pretty serious body image issues which makes me feel worse about losing an erection with her). I also feel like our relationship is depending on whether or not I can fix my anxieties around sex which makes me really nervous because I am so happy with my new partner and we already feel deeply connected to each other on an emotional level.