Everytime I’ve been with a girl for the first sexual encounter I wana try to get atleast semi hard before I let them see it or touch it as I haven’t got a good relationship with my flaccid penis.This causes me to constantly be a spectator when kissing or touching etc and ultimately I either don’t get a full erection or I do and then it goes again during intercourse.So after this happened a few times I used to take viagra secretly everytime i had a hook up and even for a few months into a relationship until I felt comfortable with my partner. But even after being in a relationship I still think too much about my flaccid penis before sex which normally ruins the whole experience for me.I’ve never had complaints about my size and performance when I’ve been fully hard etc so don’t understand why I think and worry so much about it when it’s soft
Yes, I’m anxious as I know my penis isn’t currently getting hard like it used too - and I don’t know why. Even though it erects enough to have sex - it’s not like it used to be. It’s tricky to describe, it feels like the muscle or tissue (outer bit) is damaged. Personally, I think its related to a physical problem (possibly as a result of psychological stresses), as my left nipple is noticably flaccid compared to my right and I have a constant ache inside me around the bladder / ‘hip flexor’ area (on the left side only again). It must be related. However Doctors have repeatedly told me after checks/ tests that they think it’s a psychological problem. Obviously it’s now effecting me psychologically, as it’s been 11 months with no improvement - and I have no idea what to do. It affects me in that because the experience isn’t as pleasurable as it used to be, I guess I’m not as into it - and maybe seem more ‘disconnected’ from my partner. I feel when having sex, or mastibating it’s a reminder that there is something wrong or injured. My desire to have sex/ sex drive as a result is non existent compared to how it used to be - which was high. Any comments / thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
Everytime I’ve been with a girl for the first sexual encounter I wana try to get atleast semi hard before I let them see it or touch it as I haven’t got a good relationship with my flaccid penis.This causes me to constantly be a spectator when kissing or touching etc and ultimately I either don’t get a full erection or I do and then it goes again during intercourse.So after this happened a few times I used to take viagra secretly everytime i had a hook up and even for a few months into a relationship until I felt comfortable with my partner. But even after being in a relationship I still think too much about my flaccid penis before sex which normally ruins the whole experience for me.I’ve never had complaints about my size and performance when I’ve been fully hard etc so don’t understand why I think and worry so much about it when it’s soft
it directly causes flacid d
Yes. I might worry about losing my erection and then that causes it to happen, which worsens the anxiety and becomes a vicious cycle
Yes, I fear that past experiences will repeat.
i do get anxious when having sex. it comes down to two major things firstly will i be able to sustain my erection. secondly will i be able to satisfy her (this includes the worry of finishing too early which is a very embarrassing thought)
I have the problem of my erection wilting the moment I attempt penetration. I am not even thinking about it at the time " will it happen again". I am trying to be in the moment with the woman but it happens and drops me out of being present in the sensations and back into spectatoring.
Yes. My relationship with my wife (we’re separated now) was strained badly toward the end of the marriage and I literally COULDN’T achieve, much less maintain, an erection with her. I always prided myself on sexual prowess but this was the start of my performance anxiety issues. Since then, the deep seeded belief that I wouldn’t be able to get it up for ANY woman set in and this led to a few incidents where I had to make excuses about being exhausted or sick b/c I would lose my erection mid encounter. I have since started taking medication but even that lately is beginning to not work
Being anxious during sex is a new thing for me. Something about being a bit older and more concerned with my body, as well as having a new partner, has been making me overthink things. Not staying hard was really anxiety-inducing the first time it happened, and the anxiety that it will happen again impacts me each time I have had sex since.
I get anxious even before sex and during about cumming too quickly. I used to be able to last a while when i was just enjoying sex and in the moment but then i think my mental health played into it a bit. Started like squeezing the muscle hard as i could to try be as hard and big as possible which i think would make me cum quicker so made it worse.
Yes. I get anxious about the pace and order of it. I’ll be kissing someone, and start to kiss their body, move my hands over it, and get into an ebb-and-flow of harder and softer passion. I’ll notice myself starting to get hard but that gets my head going. I want to be hard before they reach for my penis, because once they’ve started touching it, I get all up in my head about that it should get hard quickly, otherwise it’ll be awkward or uncomfortable for them. If they’re touching me and it’s not happening, I’ll move to go down on them or focus on them to avoid the fact. Or if I’m starting to get hard I might even do the same, to calm myself down, even though I want to be hard and have penetrative sex.
I’m always anxious, the moment I sense that my partner is interested in initiating sex I instantly get stage fright. Instead of being in the moment enjoying the connection with my partner I start to spectate. I’ve been with my partner for 20 years with a full and satisfying sex life. The last 12 months however it has completely changed and feels so isolating and lonely a place to be.
Takes my mind elsewhere
Yes, it makes me overthink and it gets me out of the moment.
Yeah, definitely. With my ex-girlfriend I used to have very specific anxieties about having sex in the bedroom, as opposed to doing anything sexual in any other part of the house. When it came to going to the bedroom I’d begin to feel a sense of dread and pressure. Instead of wanting to have sex, I suddenly felt like I was obliged to have sex, like the I had a role to fill out or she would be disappointed and think less of me. I had less issues with erections when it came to being in places where I knew we couldn’t have sex, because I’d have much less anxiety.
It makes it hard to get it up, once it is up tho it becomes difficult to keep it up and I feel like I kinda have to rush sex and cum quickly.
I seed bad experience , and affects the next sexual encounter
I have no problem initially during sex but at some point I get a head rush of anxiety and then I start to go soft. Once that happens, that’s it for at least an hour. Sometimes the anxiety happens when putting the condom on, which is really frustrating. I feel like its a snowball effect for me, when it starts happening, I think about it more and more then get more anxiety.
I do. I just think too much about pleasuring the woman I am with and not focusing on the moment in time we are having. I think sometimes I also want it to be perfect and am afraid she will leave me if our experiences (sexual or not) are not pleasurable. There is a large part of me (most of me probably) who knows she won’t do this, but for whatever reason the thought of our experiences needing to be perfect trumps my more reasonable thoughts.