Can't keep it hard with her on top

Hi. I’m new to this so hopefully this works out. I feel like a failure! I’ve always had some erection issues rite away with any girl , but there always seemed to get better over time after the nervousness went away. Now I have a beautiful girlfriend who I’m super attracted to and find amazingly sexy! We been together about a year now. The only way she says she can orgasm is on top. And every time I’ve tried this I lose my erection. Sometimes before I can even get it in. She says she’s ok with this and still wants to be with me. But after a year now of failing to give her a single orgasm it’s leaving me feeling like a failure and a lesser of a man. And can only think of what she may think of me. Even if I take pills first this still happens to me. Any input would be great. Thank you!


Hey, something similar used to happen to me (certain positions causing me to go soft)
You could try doing it a different way first, and then getting her on top to finish?
You might feel pressure because she’s told you that’s the way that makes her finish, so maybe try to swap that pressure for excitement instead that she’s going to finish and you will both enjoy it. Changing my outlook on that sinking feeling in my stomach to be positive rather than negative really helped me :slight_smile:
All the best mate


I will give that a try. Thanks!!

I can relate. I wish I had solutions to offer, but I’m in the same boat. Performance anxiety has pushed me into a very vanilla corner sexually. I think giving up control (her on top) scares me somehow. I used to love sex in any position, but now I’m scared I’m stuck here.

Honestly Im to the point where I barely get horny. It just a constant worry. It’s almost all I think about. I use to alcohol to relax me, even though I really don’t enjoy drinking , accompanied by a viagra or some type of performance enhancing medication, and that’s how I got by for years. Eventually that stopped working .