Anyone notice Mojo's weird aversion to condemning porn?

[cognitive-coffee-firefly]

From everything I’ve read and experienced, the most positive first step you can take to fighting ED is never watching porn again. See ‘your brain on porn’ TED talk and from there. Over and over again, men watch more women than any man in history has ever seen until a few years ago, and then suddenly things don’t work. Sure, it is not yet officially put out there by WHO… But how is that the only metric when you’re in trouble and should be trying everything?

It feels like they’re funded by the porn industry or something, every single step they take pains to reassure you that porn is fine if you “use it correctly” etc… If you are trying to do anything to cure ED, wouldn’t it make most sense scientifically to remove every possible cause, and then slowly add back in stimuli to determine what has the biggest impact? Curious on other’s thoughts here.

[decent-tomato-parrotfish]

I think taking on the idea that porn isn’t as damaging as we think is a mind settler and is meant to reduce your anxiety about feeling ashamed of using porn. Personally I have taken the idea of porn isn’t as damaging as we think with a pinch of salt and despite being told this, I still decide to cut it out. Take the idea on, but make your own decision about porn and what works for you

[cognitive-coffee-firefly]

But the default is “porn is not as damaging as we think”, a majority view that is heavily pushed by the porn lobby. It’s just odd that it’s never explicitly suggested “hey you might want to try no porn/no fap, this is THE issue for many people”. All of that is very obviously avoided. I think that avoiding mention of those communities is done on purpose, because it would take business from mojo.

[cognitive-coffee-firefly]

Maybe it’s because I keep not using the app for a few weeks and coming back, it is resetting or something… But the first few days each time just tell me over and over I don’t have to stop watching porn, and don’t give me any exercises which would be far more useful.

[dual-turquoise-alpaca]

Many who come here are likely heavily addicted to porn and a hard stance would turn them away. Better to take a soft position and then later ask “hey bud you sure this is good for you?”

Those of us who know porn is garbage are already good.

[driving-black-reptile]

For a few days, i keep getting the porn modules resent to me. I think there is a glitch

[mutual-salmon-crab]

Eat pizza every day, pizza loses its appeal. As you suggest, think we all know the deal with porn. In some circumstances I think it could actually help, but in almost all cases, it’s not helping.

[tasty-rose-kingfisher]

I felt this way as well. I am not going back into porn but I think they’re just saying once you build up an incredible reservoir of mental skills and confidence, watching porn once won’t derail all your work.

[open-aquamarine-sturgeon]

Agree with the last comment, I think it’s because they don’t want people to feel shame for using it which is fair. But not using porn definitely helps me get erections/turned on

[informal-purple-jaguar]

Read the eazypeazy book on quitting porn. It has helped me immensely. It made you realize pork is a terrible drug with no positive benefits at all. Quitting porn should be the #1 ED recommendation every time.

[ideal-emerald-lemming]

I think it is a bit more nuanced. I do agree they maybe place lower weight on it than it deserves, but they emphasise other things too. Regarding the studies, I am a little wary of the results, as not everyone who watches porn has issues with it. So how do they get subjects who are in that category. And porn addiction takes years to build and is complex (if we can use that term). So how can they study that in one sit down. All that being said, I think Mojo emphasise it isnt all caused by P, but other factors too - which I agree with.

[zealous-moccasin-dragon]

I find not using porn makes me hornier for an outlet. That’s a good start but it doesn’t affect my ED issues l one way or the other.

We’re getting over anxieties: perhaps not adding porn to the list is a good idea.

Thank you to the person above who mistyped pork for porn; nice to have a chuckle.

[linguistic-lavender-chameleon]

I actually applaud Mojo for not condemning porn, becuase porn isn’t the problem, lack of education and support are.

I have a very similar relationship with porn as I do with alcohol. They’re both used to fill gaps when we aren’t satisfied with our lives. But they’re not a cause, they’re a symptom. If everyone had a nourishing and fulfilling sex life, porn would not exist, and that starts with honest and quality sex education - espcially for young people. But because so many people feel ick and insecure talking about these issues, people aren’t educated on them, feel frustrations about not getting needs and desires met, and so they turn to porn.

I personally have nothing against porn, just like I have nothing against alcohol per se. I even had potential opportunities to make porn with partners who were sex workers in the past.

I turn to porn when I’m stressed and unfilfiled in my connections with others, just like alcohol, but realising this is just the first step. The best way to quit porn is to find partners who are supportive in you exploring your sexuality to the fullest and not shaming you for your kinks, fetishises, and desires. Because if people keep getting shamed for that then of course they’re going to go back to the alternative - porn doesn’t judge, doesn’t make fun of you or be disgusted with you for your desires, and all it asks of you is your attention. Sounds way better than going out and dealing with the pain and heatbreak of finding a partner right?

If you don’t want porn to exist anymore, society needs to be WAY WAY WAY more open and honest about sex and more supportive of people exploring it. We are all beautifully perverted and kinky in our own ways and we need to celebrate that and support people in building lives and connections where they are loved and supported for expressing themselves and embracing their sexuality to the fullest.

If we don’t do that, porn will never go away. Simple as that.

[roasted-maroon-bass]

I watched porn for many years very regularly and never had a problem getting hard for sex. Since the problem started due to a lot of psychological factors, I’ve watched and not watched and I don’t feel that it has really affected me one way or another. What I will say is that, when I’m feeling good and excited and have a plan and goal I believe in, I don’t watch as much. When the opposite is true, like this past two weeks, I watch way more. This matches what mojo says.

[prime-orange-hedgehog]

I think it’s more nuanced than “porn is bad”. You can have a bad relationship with food but that doesn’t mean food in general is bad

[convincing-red-aardwolf]

I think the issue is trying to be a porn star IRL after having watched a lot of it. This program has helped me stay in the moment and try to enjoy it vs trying to shoot my own porn clip in my head. So far so good.

[wicked-turquoise-beetle]

There are agendas on either side of the porn debate. You’ll find a lot of the anti-porn types are Christians or born again Christians or theyre bleeding hearts about the treatment of women in porn - as though they were incapable of making their own decisions.

Then on the other hand, you’ll have the pro-porn types who will tell you it causes no problems on its own. Clearly the truth is somewhere in the middle. But what seems obvious to me, is that over exposure to anything will desensitize you. If you watch 100 bukkakes a day you might not get aroused by seeing a nipple through a white shirt the way you would when you were 14 years old.

For me it’s hard to know what portion of porn is safe or appropriate to use when you have a sexual dysfunction. The question for me is more, is it enhancing your sexual mind and creating new and actionable content in your mind that you can use in the real world, or is it making you sexually lazy?

For me, for a long time it was making me sexually lazy. Hey, I like things the way I like them, and like seeing things the way I want to see them, and that has meant nothing but blow jobs with asses jiggling in my face for a decade now. Clearly my porn habit and consistent insistence on things being a certain way has led to that, and now I can barely even get aroused for good, old fashioned, meat and potatoes sex. Everything has to look and sound a certain way. I have no doubt porn contributed to that.

So is Mojo’s stance right? is porn ‘not’ the problem? I think we have to see porn as an inanimate object. It is neither good nor bad, it just ‘is’. It’s a tool. Is a gun bad? Well in some people’s hands, yes. In other’s it’s a life saver. Porn could help stimulate some people but clearly those aren’t the people who are here with these problems. I think Mojo does a reasonable job at highlighting the uses of porn and potential concerns around it without jumping to the assumpsions some do, where if you have ED, Porn is the automatic answer.

The question for readers is, do you think your porn use is detrimental? Chances are you already know the answer in your own case. In mine, it has been, in as much as its made me develop very specific tastes. But porn also could potentially help me explore other tastes as well.

The TLDR version - it depends.

[cognitive-coffee-firefly]

Thanks for everyone’s thoughtful responses.

[slim-teal-egret]

When I was about 12, my Dad took me to a birds-and-bees presentation at a local hospital. Among other things, the program featured rather detailed front-and-back drawings of boys and girls going through the stages of puberty. I’d been pretty much oblivious to girls, and I’d been attending an all-boys’ school, so the images of naked girls around my age created an unfamiliar but happy reaction below my belt. Since those heady days, I’ve had two wives, several girlfriends, fathered two lovely daughters, and suffered the sadness and frustration of erectile dysfunction for more years than I can believe. Right now, my relation to women is much like the relation of a dog to a car he’s chasing: what the hell would I do if I caught one?? I’m starting to accept the notion that I’m in the twilight of my life on this planet. Now I get all sentimental and wistful at the sight of a pair of perky nipples peeking through a pretty girl’s loose-fitting top garment, and the sight of a proudly, innocently displayed vulva gives me renewed faith in the future of the human race. Perhaps that’s all there is left for me. (Sigh).