So I’ve recently realized that I have ADHD and I’m getting my diagnosis currently. I assume that it’s the reason I just can’t focus on sex fully as well. My head jist starts wandering off and no matter how hard I try to just stay in the moment, I rarely can. I know sex can be really nice, but it often feels like my brain isn’t engaged enough and needs some other input, which is where it wanders off.
Especially you guys with ADHD (but also others with similar issues), what is your experience? Do you have anything that helps?
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(I forgot to mention that it’s the same with sensate focus here. The first few times it was just fine, but as soon as the routine hit I stopped being able to focus on it)
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I have ADHD too and have had the same thoughts and concerns. I currently take medication for my ADHD but that can come with its own set of challenges, like a decrease is sex drive. I still enjoy it when it comes around but my desire has definitely decreased (just something to be mindful of once you get your diagnosis). I have found that some of the same tricks used for ADHD management are being repeated here as far as mindfulness which has helped some.
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Same boat here except I’m trying to manage without meds. I feel like the meditation, breathing, and Senate focus are helping but it does feel like a struggle. Hoping to learn from this thread for sure.
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Interested in this as I was diagnosed recently. Always had trouble slowing the mind down and focusing during intimacy, as you describe. I’ve found that even half a Viagra helps to counteract the racing mind but would like to go without drugs in the longer term. Just feels like fighting a losing battle against the hyperactive brain at times.
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Struggling with the same. I can get hard initially, sometimes fully (thought usually max 75%), but during sex it almost always goes to barely hard enough to penetrate and by the time I come im nearly flaccid. Mind just wonders, everything distracts me. I was on Adderall and Wellbutrin which may have helped a little, but it shriveled my member and weakened my erections even more. I’m now on guanfacine and I can concentrate a little better but it’s crashed what was left of my libido. Cutting out all porn and social media, trying to increase dopamine and decrease prolactin. Will also try semen retention and edging (start stop) daily. Not sure there’s any hope for us, but I’m desperate at this point. Also, Ed meds have no effect on me other than horrible acid reflux.
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Bro I’m in the same shoes it’s so hard man
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Does ed drugs help with what OP is describing?
I’ve always thought of my adhd as a mental blocker for erections during the intercourse time but foreplay makes me like fully excited
I found that ED drugs act as a sort of back up, so even if your mind is whirring you’re more likely to stay erect. And then the virtuous cycle of feeling hard, being in the moment, thoughts slow, you start enjoying it etc. Would recommend starting with half a tab as a full one gave me side-effects. Obviously it’s your choice but good luck either way.
It’s a broken mentality, folks. Ive been dealing with that for many years, no luck. Fucking anxiety ruins everything in life, not only sex. Ed pills sometimes help, sometimes don’t. But I can easily get hard masturbating, so problem is in the head. Feeling desperate. Especially considering that Im fit, good looking guy that attracts women. This is a fucking curse, and I don’t see way out of it.
Exactly the same bro
Do you still watch porn?
Stopped watching 2 weeks ago. Used to watch/masturbate every day. No improvement yet, its opposite, my libido went down. Thats true, I can get erection with porn, but not real girl. But even after stopping port its not getting any better. I have to say that i have terrible adhd and anxiety in my regular life too. I run bussiness and that shot is stressful. Going to see doctor for some anxiety pills, not sure if that help. The life doesnt make sense if you cant fuck girls. I would give away half of my money not to have problem with ed and anxiety. My testosterone is 562, which is ok doctor says. Dont know what to do else
Sorry, replied above.
Sex for me now is a torture. I would rather go to war than experiencing ed again. I started to date 2 girls recently, just had 2 nd date with each. We were about to have sex, but I escaped because of the panic. Feel desperate.