I have a supportive partner and I’ve been able to express frustration about PE after sex before. I’ve always felt better for doing so because she’ll unknowingly reassure me. Definitely recommend saying something even if you’re concerned about what you’ll hear.
Still very nervous and clunky. But I think this really comes down to being with someone I trust. If I can trust them I’d be happy to tell them. Could be another issue there related to trust but hey
There’s still a lot of stigma around sexual performance for men. I started off thinking I’d like to talk about this stuff; but then came to the part about taking ownership. When I’ve discussed it in the past I’ve done so apologetically and ashamed. It’s hard to try to detach the stigma and manifest confidence into discussing sensitive topics. Fortunately I’ve had supportive people remind me it’s ok and that I still do very well in the sex department even if I don’t always perform down there. (Gross: humble brag I know)
I can see the value of this in longer-term relationships but I’m not sure I’d mention this on a one night stand!
I think it’s actually more important but at the same time more difficult to mention it to a one night stand. With a long term partner you should be able to expect a bit of understanding and support whereas someone you’ve just met may not feel they owe you anything.
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I’m in a long term relationship and we both have different problems, but we just don’t talk about them, when we could be supporting each other through them!
Having not discuss these in the past and then having to explain in the moment… after I got them hot and overly ready with extended foreplay and oral… it is really painful and self-defeating. It really allows The Critique to attack.
I will start trying to be open and communicative earlier on… and ounce of preventative is better than a ton of cure, right? I know I can work intimacy and sexual satisfaction without penetrative intercourse.
Maybe this will help build a better intimacy and longer lasting relatioship when tying in the Simmering technique?
I’m excited to try to have these discussions in a way that is more natural and organic, instead of trying to dump information before sex… I think I’ve just been going about it the wrong way, and it’s nice to have a new path to try
I have the opposite issue. Sometimes, I have a problem with delayed ejaculation. Not frequently, but often enough to cause me anxiety.
I tried to explain a little bit in the early days of our dating, but my girlfriend took it all personally. She thought she was inadequate and that it was mostly her fault. When I finally explained to her that it’s been going on for over 10 years, it helped a good bit because I was not with her until earlier this year. That was a very direct way for me to totally own this issue.
Since I’ve been in this course for almost a month, the situation has been clearing up.
Clear communication throughout has been the key. She is very supportive now that she is not blaming herself.
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I’m usually quite honest with my partner although also apologetic if it happens whereas I should probably be understanding with it and try to offer something different
I’ve talked to my current girlfriend about how it impacted me in the past and how I’m dealing with it now. I think that saying you are being proactive is important because it shows you aren’t just putting it off.
I feel really comfortable and eager about it. I mean, if I don’t talk to her about my problems, then who?
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Never had an issue with this over the time I’ve been dealing with ED luckily - I’m very open & communicative with my partners. Most of them have been totally understanding!
This is a tricky one for me. I’ve been married for years, and my wife has always found conversations around sex difficult and awkward. It wasn’t a huge issue when we were younger, but it has made it really hard to discuss the sexual challenges we’re experiencing now. I also tend to be very apologetic, which is a buzz kill. I think owning it in a confident (not apologetic) way may be helpful, and definitely worth giving a shot.
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When my partner, I have no problem discussing it, but with one night stands, I find it very difficult to discuss my erection issues.
I am very open to it now, and think it is the proper and healthy thing to do. Before I started this course, I never told anyone. But a casual relationship of mine had a serious issue with my ED and use of pills. If I had just owned it, and discussed what turns me on more effectively, I think it would have been a better experience. I opened up to her and she was very understanding!
I’m fairly open to it. I had the conversation pretty early with my current dating partner and she was understanding - and were still dating and having sex so obviously it doesn’t have to be a crisis or something to be afraid of. I’m having sex with other women too more casually, but have avoided talking through it much. I might change that now based on this advice 
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I’ve had problems either getting hard or not being able to come (after being hard and going at it for a long time) at the beginning of almost all of my relationships. But I’ve also know that I’m good at giving oral sex. So this time around, I brought it up in a playful way before we ever got in bed—I said “I often have problems at first, but on the upside, I wont be able to move my lips or tongue anymore after making you come over and over”. Even though my new partner normally didn’t let guys go down on her, she did with me and even though I did have my usual problems and didn’t come with her for two months, we had the hottest sex I’ve ever had. I didn’t feel pressure because I knew I could make her happy and she didn’t feel like I wasn’t attracted to her because I wasn’t coming or wasn’t staying hard sometimes.
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I’ve been having very open and honest conversations with my new girlfriend. It’s been freeing to express my feelings and desires and remove mystery
I think it’s mandatory to be open and honest with your partner. I’ve always worried that it would be sexual suicide but it’s never been an issue for the woman
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