saying what i need to right away instead of holding it in and overthinking
I need to work on being more direct and not avoiding difficult conversations. Recently I’ve been ghosting a lot of talking stages and I know this is not the right thing to do, I should have the decency to message them and admit that I am not feeling it. I have been on the other side before and it’s not a nice feeling.
Need to not hide my needs. I need my gf to embrace my independent life and not always me going to her house. Need more of a two way street.
I sometimes get frustrated with my wife and how I think she treats others. I am sometimes short with coworkers.
Not lover, maybe roommates, generally speaking it can be a useful skill
I need to not focusing on caretaking, or trying to keep the peace at the expense of not communicating my needs.
Lots of stuff. She has said she wants me to ‘step up’ and that she has to ‘do everything’ but I feel like it’s Catch-22 - if I take the initiative then I’m trying to control her, if I don’t I’m passive, if I ask questions about how to do something I’m needy and annoying, if I don’t ask questions but I get it wrong she’s angry.
Yesterday she said ‘sex sucks’. If this marriage is going to last we need to make sex not suck. I think the sensate focus stuff makes sense but I’m scared to raise it because she might just dismiss it.
I’m not currently in a relationship, but when I get back into one, I want to be better about expressing my wants and needs on a more every day basis versus letting things build up.
Letting her feel she’s being heard but also allowing me time to process what’s being said. I’m a lot slower than her so she gets frustrated with me if I don’t have a response in 0.00001 seconds.
I need to work on conflicts with my mom and the friend I am currently in flux romantic relationship with.
I need to have some support with my issues in bed. With me constantly disappointing my wife this is hard for her and she feels like I don’t love her. This causes tension.
Relationship insecurity and feelings of detachment
Getting my girlfriend to open up more with things that bother her because I feel like little things build up and once they hit a certain point she throws them all in my face.
Most likely, conversations about my ED. I had only one sucessful conversation about that and few more rather unproductive and bad with other people. That one, which was successful brought back my boner back then
Caring over caretaking
Stop trying to solve her problems and brush off or get angry at her emotions
I need to work on being more vocal when I feel my girlfriend isn’t asking about me or isn’t as interested in hearing about my life than I am about hers.
Arguments with my brother. He seems to have no idea what he wants or needs
We need to work on the conflicts that result of an unsatisfactory sexual encounter. We both had it. And we always struggled to communicate without resulting in argument. I need to work on caring and not caretaking.
Remaining calm.