What kind of conflict or arguments do you need to work on?

I avoid conflict because I am Minnesota Nice and she is firey and passionate. She explodes into emotion that I am not used to. I am learning that the passion is her personality and her way of communicating and that I should not avoid it.

I pride myself on my honesty and the ability to be direct after failing to do so in my last relationship. Along that I do need to work on not letting my emotions control my response and trying to stay level headed in the midst of a disagreement.

I have way too many people in my life who take me for granted and don’t value me. The instant I speak to for myself, they disconnect. Best thing I’ve ever done is just detach from those fuckers. Total erection killers. Even going through this module was triggering as fuck.

I think one conflict I constantly get is at work. I am a nurse who works in a clinic. I get super annoyed whenever people assume I’m not doing anything, it’s like my biggest pet peeve. I’ve never voiced it out but I get this seething anger in me. The intensity comes down, but I never forget that feeling towards that particular person.

I need to be more upfront about my emotional and physical needs with my partner. I need to subordinate my own needs and desires less

I need to be more open about my emotional and physical needs. I need to be transparent and not subordinate my own needs to my partner’s 100% of the time

I need to be more expressive and unapologetic about asking for the things that I need.

I also need to work on expressing my emotional state. I’ve gotten used to just pretending I’m happy and moving along. Most ppl don’t notice, my current gf can point it out very easily. It’s caused problems because I’m pretending to be in a good mood when I’m not and it creates conflict. She feels like I don’t want to talk to her and I’m leaving her out of the details of my life.

Know when to help and offer solutions vs. Just listening

My feelings on what type of relationship I would like. Being more honest about things that mean a lot to me, without feeling embarrassed.

We used to argue and fight more in the beginning of our relationship but over the many years of learning how we each respond to conflict, we’ve come to approach disagreements from a place of genuine “I want what’s best for you, then I want what’s best for us, then I want what’s best for me”. Like fully trusting that this other person wants what’s best for me at all costs and feeling the same for them makes you really feel like one team fighting for the same thing, so we trust each other to approach conversations with only the best intents, and do our best to respond with genuine curiosity and feelings without any shame or blame

Times when we just need to vent and not find solutions in the moment

I need to work on how reactive I can be. My partner will sometimes say things or use a tone that triggers me. The last time this happened we talked it out and eventually got to a point where he explained he never means to trigger or hurt me. I believe that is true, so I need to work on thinking before reacting.

We never argue because we both avoid conflict.

In our relationship, my girlfriend is the more spontaneous one, both sexually and otherwise. Sometimes I get overwhelmed and frustrated which can lead to conflict. I need to be better at asking for what I need. In this case, it’s a little bit of a pause in spontaneity to allow me to process whatever we’re doing.

Arguments about jealousy and aftercare

I think I need to practice small skills like not saying you but starting with I. I think labeling the feelings and needs if very helpful, even if it’s only post conflict at first

The conflicts that come when I can perform sexually.

I am more emotional and physically In tune than my girlfriend is. At times she feels walled off and has a hard time communicating her emotions or what she needs. I feel as like I communicate my needs and how her being distant at times makes me feel. Now that I’m thinking about it it’s usually just me telling her what I need. I don’t do a good job of asking her what she needs or trying to understand her perspective. I need to work on having conversations that are only about her and not how I feel.

I need to be able to express my feelings in a way that is direct but not harsh. Sometimes i am scared to hurt her feelings but holding mines back is not better.