I keep thinking I should be walking around with an erection just thinking about the upcoming sex, getting excited by the prospect, but I don’t. That reinforces in my head that there’s something wrong with me, that I’m not as horny as other men and therefore defective. Yet I know that when I’m keen on someone, I can easily get it up during foreplay, so what’s the problem? The problem is the voice - there shouldn’t be one. There should just be engagement and pleasure if the partner is attractive to me, attracted to me and turned on. I can’t shut the bastard up which drives the erection away and makes me want to vanish.
2 Likes
My inner critic is only a voice as long as nothing ‘‘serious’’ is about to happen. Then it takes up a shape I always wanted to get into and ashamed me by it’s pure presence. During the day it gives me doubts if I really should plan for sex. Am I allowed to or am I worthy enough to have sex? Do I really want it? I will upset my partner AGAIN!Just right before sex this voice shouting in my face telling I will not get it up…again. I am a loser, I worth nothing. And the negative affirmations going on and on up to the point I don’t even dare to touch her. Not even instigate sex.During sex… not going to happen at all after these.If by some funny reason I get hard and sex happens all my thoughts around staying hard or take her to the top in the shortest time until I’m hard. Focusing on to do things right and getting lost in the making other then being present and enjoy the ride.Just by thinking about sex I become so anxious that all my limbs trembling. It get worse if we are in bed. In this state sex won’t happen at all.
2 Likes
This is a good exercise. Mine has my voice, or better, mine is that alpha version of me degrading me. Is that virile man i would never be and he likes to puts me down and confuse me.
2 Likes
Mine is my own voice.Hour or even days before potential sex, it is trying to convince me not to to go ahead with it. Whats the point when you know it just won’t work and then you have to go through the terrible awkwardness again. Also staying things like, if this doesn’t work then she will tell all her friends and I will feel like less of a man.Just before sex It has pretty much convinced me that it won’t happen so it doesn’t. I try to focus on how attractive she is but ultimately I can’t stop focusing on the fact that I have not got an erection.
3 Likes
My inner critic feels like someone trying to have a conversation with me whilst I’m already on the phone to someone else. Rather than feeling passion and in the moment, I’m constantly having internal dialogue with myself. Over thinking things like, so I look attractive, what is my partner thinking, will I lose my erection.
Eventually, I started secretly taking ED meds. When I had a feeling we might have sex (for example we’ve been on a dinner date or it’s Valentine’s Day and we’re likely to have sex tonight) I’d take a pill and just knowing that I’ll get hard and stay hard was one less thing to think about and I could concentrate on all the other thoughts - still not the sex itself.
Obviously secretly taking pills isn’t particularly healthy for any relationship - especially when they often make me feel nauseous the day after and my partner could never understand why.
my inner critic is a somewhat cynical, sarcastic voice in my head, that spreads nervousness and fear inside me before sex. during sex, I’m constantly monitoring the hardness of my dick, and at the slightest hint (it doesn’t have to even be real), he comes out and says,“there we go, it’s over” - which usually causes it to be over relatively quickly
3 Likes
My inner critic constantly tells me that I won’t be able to keep it up at all, and even if I do I’m going to cum way too quickly
My inner critic wants us to succeed in life but goes about it in a rough way. It’s like I fuel myself to do things through hatred. Do you want to do well in college or do you want to be a failure? Do you want to be a weakling or do you want to finish this workout well? I barely masturbate because I often want to save my sexual energy for my partner. If I can’t match her I’m a failure but there’s no matching her.The critic puts a lot of pressure on me to live a healthy life for a healthy libido and then prior to and during sex it says things like ‘are you going to get hard’‘Oh your going to lose your erection strength once you start to have sex.’‘She thinks it’s small’'If you don’t make her cum you have failed’Makes sex unejoyable, I feel like even at the best of times some portion of sex is me arguing with my inner critic and trying to shut him up otherwise I get pulled away from my own body and my enjoyment
3 Likes
A constant voice in my head telling me I’m not going to be able to do this
1 Like
Definitely my own voice. Very straight and without emotion.
Mine is just me, warning that it might be like last time, going flaccid and staying that way while the partner looks expectantly
1 Like
f’ing little troll sitting on my heart
1 Like
My own voice in the back of my head. Questioning each moment with a negative or awkward point of view.
Hours, sometimes days if I’m returning home from somewhere or if I feel it’s an “occasion” that I should be performing well at. It’s my own voice, he speaks like a concerned friend like “man, I don’t think you’ll be able get up tonight for her, you’ll probably just disappoint her again, but she’ll say she still loves you like she always does afterwards” And the voice (me) is right I have a fantastic fiancee and I know she’ll love me and respect me no matter what but I still fear disappointing her every time
My inner critic actually says positive things. Telling me to calm down. To relax. Enjoy the moment. Be with the person you’re about to have sex with. Treat them like a human being. Treat them as “a whole” and not a ‘hole’. AND… it leads to my penis going inside out and refusing to even try to get up 
1 Like
Mine doesn’t have a form of face, but is just in the background, making me nervous.
It feels like I am in some ways consumed by my inner critic. I thought it was just me. This task was really helpful to separate those thoughts from myself, they are always negative when there are 2 sides to look at every situation
My inner critic says, you are not enough. She will leave you like all the rest. She will tire of you like everyone else does. If sex isn’t good enough then she will look elsewhere. My inner critic sees the looks from previous times when it wasn’t “good enough”. Times when there was anger because I came too soon.
Now I think that I am too old to last that long. I need some toy or something to help me be enough. My inner critic says, “she’s the best you’re ever gonna get”. You are old and wasted now. Your best days are behind you. This is the way of life.
Sometimes my inner critic is the quiet disapproving look that I have received in the past.
1 Like
My inner critic has my voice. When he talks to me, It’s not yelling nor whispering, but it sounds disappointed. As foreplay is happening, it says “get hard and stay hard, you don’t want to fail like last time & be embarrassed.” Once I come to grips I’m not gonna get hard, it asks me over and over again “why couldn’t you get hard dude, why?”
1 Like
My inner critic is I must perform all the time and at the same time tells me it is ok not to perform. I tell myself to exercise, eat well, be healthy and it works most of the time. But now I have anxiety of not getting hard at that moment and feel that I have disappointed myself and her.
1 Like