Sex and my mind

I have had some relationships in the past that have really messed with my head regarding sexual encounters.
My first sexual girlfriend would get really angry if she didn’t cum so I started to believe that if she didn’t cum I had “failed.”
Later on into my adult life I was very sexually healthy and was hosting tantric workshops with a girl I was seeing and over time the relationship turned psychologically abusive and destroyed my connection to my own sexual energy. I abandoned my tantric path and gave up sexual relationships for almost 2 years. Until I found my latest girlfriend.
Things started out really well and it was passionate and happy. But over time I felt pushed away and unwanted physically. I couldn’t turn her on anymore, and she never made an advance toward me. For many reasons aside from that I left and am back working on healing.

I want to feel that playful and explorative sexual energy that I once had again, and am excited to get there!

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It sounds helpful that you have been able to look back over past sexual relationships and see the bits that were not good for you. I’m glad you are excited about the future. I’m not sure if you have had some individual therapy? It might be useful even for a short time to look at how you have got into relationships with partners who have not been supportive and loving of you? It will be good to go into any new relationships with your ‘eyes wide open’ and make sure you are able to make healthy partner choices. Mojo will be able to help you get back into your body (you can do this with your Tantric training) - you will also learn how to notice unhelpful negative thoughts. An important part will be what gives you pleasure and look for that! Good luck!

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