I have been with my wife now for about 4 years. Sex has never been much of a problem, but I find it hard to climax sometimes due to nerves. She has never complained, but I know it’s due to past relationships.
I was married to my ex wife about 6 years ago. During this time I was in the military, and under a lot of stress. I was unable to get hard often, and it just snowballed into a tremendous amount of anxiety and fear. My ex wife was not understanding, and it had been difficult to get past this feeling of fear.
Fast forward to now, I have done a lot of work to get past this, but I notice when I have sex now sometimes I get a quick though saying “what happens if you go soft?” Then I find myself trying to speed it up to prevent it, to no avail. It’s like once that thought enters my head, I struggle to come back to the moment.
My wife and I have big plans on Valentine’s Day, and this is always a difficult day for me because it was one of the first days with my ex wife I experienced erection issues.
I have taken viagra in the past to push through the anxiety, but I am wanting to get to a space where I can truly enjoy the moment and be present, without having to rely on drugs for these big holidays.