Female compassion

does anyone else feel like a woman just doesnt understand? no matter what? because sex for them could be as simple as lying down and spreading her legs. ive gotten this" whats so difficult about it?" “sex is easy we just do it” even with compassion i feel a small bit of “its you not me”

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That is always hard to hear. Something that you are finding difficult someone else thinks is easy, or even a given.

I think a lot of women don’t see not being able to get it up or cumming quickly as a big deal. They sometimes feel a little lost when they see how distraught we are and wonder how to be supportive.

Maybe the woman who said that to you was trying to be reassuring - telling you ‘sex is easy’ as in… it will be fine, don’t worry. Is that possible?

An ex-girlfriend from last year was actually the one that created my performance anxiety issues. Up until that time I’d only experienced ED once or twice when I was with a new partner for the first time, but it seemed to go straight after that. I imagine that’s quite normal?

My ex had serious psychological issues: The second time we had sex, I was struggling to find and put on a condom. I wilted while I was focused on this, and she made a scene about how unacceptable it was for me to lose my erection. The level of shame she made me feel was unbearable.

Matters slowly got worse over the following months, as I was now terrified of a repeat performance. Anxiety and premature ejaculation were a regular occurrence in our relationship. I was terrified of sex with her (although strangely had zero problems receiving oral sex, neither with getting it up or premature ejaculation).

There was one occasion that I’ll never forget for the rest of my life: She started shouting at me when I lost my erection mid-sex (out of fear of not staying hard). She said I wasn’t masculine and said this was the kind of thing that would make her cheat. I’ve never felt so humiliated in my entire life. She apologised but literally from then on I couldn’t have sex with her - the relationship ended shortly after that. In hindsight I almost feel that my body was telling me to end it before my mind did. Some part of me did not want to impregnate her.

I wish women knew how much of an effect their behaviour has for men in this situation. I don’t know about other members, but during sex I feel I’m at my most vulnerable, and an even slightly cutting remark will wound me more than anything else ever could. But then I suppose they don’t feel too great either.

I’m trying to repair the damage now with the current girl I’m seeing. First time we had sex I did have some issues but she was so sweet about it and I did manage to get hard in the end. I’m still terrified of sex though, and hopefully mojo can help me get over these fears.

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Sorry to hear that. Woman sounds like a narcissistic ■■■■ and yes, your body was probably telling you to run from an emotionally abusive partner. My last relationship, as life got stressful even as the sex was great up to that point, I would have trouble maintaining erections or would sometimes cum too quick. If the former happened, she would tell me how I wasn’t attracted to her anymore, she wasn’t right for me and we should split up. This would make me feel horrible and I’d spend all this time consoling her. Then if the quicker ejaculation happened (which ironically happened when I was extremely aroused and couldn’t help myself) she was upset that I’d cum before her and acted as if since she didn’t cum that one time, shit wasn’t fair and it’s so easy being a guy blah blah blah… and I was still made to feel bad! Sex recovered as other stresses went away but I made a mistake not getting out of that relationship sooner.

I’ll say that my current lover is amazingly patient, the exact opposite in every way. But I have some PTSD-sex equivalent bc even though she’ll cum multiple times I’ll lose erections while she’s cumming and most of the time can’t ejaculate at all. I never had those symptoms in several monogamous relationships prior to that.

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