I have come ro expect as inevitable that when I move from foreplay to time for entering I will be to soft. I also assume she will be dry and it will make it that much more difficult. My latest lover floods down there so I know this concern is an over generalization. As for staying hard enough, it seems I get better after being with someone for a while
I have hardwired myy brain to lose erection before moment of penetration. Yet waking up from a relaxed, full night’s sleep, I think I am hard for as much as 30 minutes. This could be evidence that physically I could stay hard long enough to finish with her
I don’t know if any of this will work
Often when I meet new partners I am even more stressed than when in a relationship and I have trouble getting or staying hard or getting off too fast. So now I fortune tell that these things are going to happen and stop the fun before it ever has a chance to start. But I know there are times, when I am comfortable and relaxed, that the connection and sex is great. Relaxing and being present and not fortune telling is something I’m going to implement now
I lost my erection half way through sex several times last week. Talking about it was stressful. She felt reminded of her previous relationships here she was to blame for all intimate problems. We had other times where we had great sex. It makes sense that I feel pressured. It make sense that I can get tired. She does enjoy sex with me even if non of us finish. I will feel more confident next time.
It started at 16 with my first sexual experience of almost shagging, I got hard and started and then instantly got in my head asking a thousand different questions. It’s so hard to get out of the fight or flight mode, I believe I can make the change though. 
Need to allow myself time and headspace to get erect now that my partner is ready and relax
That time I came putting the condom on was humiliating, it convinced me that I was a failure at sex and therefore as a lover in general. Therefore I could expect it to happen again
But:
That was a rushed situation with someone I didn’t know well. I was putting myself under pressure and wasn’t relaxed. I know from other experiences that, when I’m comfortable I can, and have, satisfied my partner. The first time was still quick, but they didn’t mind and I was able to go again for longer. I was not a bad sexual partner on those occasions, and it’s not inevitable that I will be next time
I am caught in a loop where I don’t even want to try. I want to please my partner but I just assume “I’m not getting hard tonight so why bother.” It makes us getting sexually intimate feel like homework.
I want to be able to please my partner and do a good job with foreplay. I want to be able to please my partner and stay errect long enough for penetrative sex. She won’t leave me because I can’t now currently
For me it was that I met this fantastic person that I click very well with. We had an awesome time, kissing and feeling into each other which I enjoyed so much but I couldn’t get hard. It was something I was thinking about when it heated up but yeah it never got hard.
It wasn’t a situation to be honest that probably needed sex but more kissing and touching but it would have been nice if my boner could listen to my mind.
I don’t know how she felt afterwards and that is probably something I am overthinking. I am also thinking, how will it be next time etc?
I am confident enough that it will go away with time but a question is also, will she give me time?
The negative thought I would like to reprogram is how my partner envisions me as a looser or less than because I couldn’t maintain an erection.
I am able to regain an erection during sex. I just have not become consumed with stress if I loose it or assume that I must immediately get hard again
I know I can get hard and have amazing, enjoyable sex. I find it annoying when I don’t get or stay hard.
Sometimes when I’m getting intimate with a girl I’ll feel my heart rate start to fly. I’ll put my pressure on the sex experience to come rather than focusing on the nice feelings that I’m currently experiencing. I’m trying to reprogram myself that porn star style sex doesn’t need to be the end goal. Kissing, hugging, nibbling can feel great too
Upon review of this CBT crashcourse: I don’t think I have any of these thoughts. I just feel sad that I haven’t been able to sustain a single erection since I was 28. No thoughts race through my head. I am in phenomenal shape and I have a super understanding partner.
I was tired. It doesn’t happen otherwise
Last time we had sex I Iost my erection during foreplay. I instantly felt like a failure and disappointment, and told myself it was happening again and I’m such a looser. Although I failed to think about the success of making my wife orgasm during foreplay or listen to her feedback saying she was happy.
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“It’s taken her jacking you off with baby oil and everything to get this hard. Why can’t you just be ready to go?”
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I had actually been ready to go when I woke up with morning wood, and even if I wasn’t ready to go, I had already ejaculated that morning through foreplay, and twice the night before, and so while my body wanted to go another round, I may have just not been ready. She’s younger and has a much higher sex drive than me, so of course I could find that stressful.
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Allowing myself the time to recover between organisms is something she has said she’s happy to do, as we we have other options like oral sex, toys, etc that we can use in the meantime. And there’s nothing wrong with her fondling my soft penis either, because she enjoys that too
A few years ago I had an unlucky encounter. We matched on Tinder then the next day went on a date in the cafe. Then following the date I messaged her and offered a romantic night in the hotel. She agreed without passion and was mostly hesitant. In the hotel I was drinking wine because I didn’t like her appearance much and I was very shy. So once I got drunk I started touching her and eventually we turned up on the bed. Once I cummed she immediately left the hotel and blocked me. Since then I have been suffering from this half erection issue. I think that I am useless as she didn’t wish to see me again.
That my partner thinks our relationship is a failure because we don’t have sex and it’s due to my problems.