My partner is definitely upset by my losing my erection. I continue to touch her to climax and she is still upset - threatens to divorce me. She wants the “full experience”. This is a build up over this past year in particular.
The last few times I’ve had sex I just feel I’m not completely hard as I worry I’m not going to last long enough so I’m almost scared to go fully hard as I think I’m going to cum quickly so it almost feels safer in my head to be only 3/4 hard so I’ll last longer, I just want to feel confident enough to be able to maintain an erection and last longer, hopefully this programme and all the tools will help me do that
You
Why did I lose my erection, I need to get it back. This is embarrassing. Why can’t o get it back?
Actually, I was very hard right away and stayed hard for a while. It was only when we moved away from foreplay that I lost the erection which was likely a mental state of mind.
During foreplay, everything is fine and we are enjoying ourselves until we get naked and start playing with eachother, thats where i lost my erection, the moment my partner grabbed me. So my erection kept coming and going all night, whether they touch it or not. I think to myself, omg this is not good, they are gonna think im not into them, or im not good enough to satisfy them. I overthink it and make it bigger than what it is, i over generalize it, making it a continuous thought in my head. I disqualify the positivity all night long, and keep myself stressed. But then i realize to myself that my partner actually liked what we did today, they didn’t complain or anything, plus we were drunk, so the alcohol didn’t help at all.
That I can, and should, be much more active in sex. I shouldn’t become completely passive on pleasuring myself to get and maintain an erection.
Not feeling horny immediately & inviting a girl over isn’t a strange thing it requires me to actually be into her and want to have sex
I am certainly my worst critic. The first time it happened it really affected me and I think I developed a mental blockade that didn’t let me get pass it the following times. I really stress about performing well during sex and to be honest I have a pretty bad self image that makes me think that nobody would want to have sex with me so when it’s about to happen I can’t believe it so I feel like that makes it go away I’m
Last time we went at it, she initiated which is rare and something she’s been feeling more confident about. Unfortunately, I wasn’t in the same zone. But since it doesn’t always go down, I felt like I should jump at the opportunity. I should have just been honest with myself because I couldn’t get hard for very long. Like I was losing interest. She didn’t like the way that felt and we both got frustrated. Being honest with her and myself shows more courage and that leads to confidence. I should remember that. Life is long and my sex life with my wife is far from over…
I can re-program the thought: if I don’t cum or stay hard every time, my partner will leave me.
I haven’t been horny with my partner and I have not been getting hard so that means I will never want to have sex again
This happen multiple times and i know the girl wanted to have a good time but I things didnt turn out the way we both wanted it to turn out because for some reason I wasn’t in the moment. I keep wondering if I was going to get hard and stay hard. I try blaming her by saying in my head maybe she is not exciting me enough
The why I think of something didn’t go write and remain positive
Last time we tried to have sex I didn’t get hard.
Every time I want to have sex I’m afraid to initiate because I’m sure I won’t get hard. Even if I take something I won’t. She’ll be disappointed and feel undesired by me.
It’s not every time I don’t get hard. She is understanding for the most part.
I put too much pressure and focus too much on maybe I won’t, if I don’t think about it maybe I will be able to
I worry that my partner is going to be mad or upset, that I can’t do exactly what they want.
I’m catastrphising because of a partner who treated me terribly in the past, and I know now that it is not ok or normal to be treated that way.
Nothing to share now
Last time my partner was here, I had trouble staying hard enough to fully have sex.
Negative thoughts: im annoyed and upset that this is happening again. Why does this happen to me every time? (Over generalizing)
It hasn’t happened every time, I have had many great experiences when im relaxed and ready for it. I was in a high stress state that week and a lot on my mind. We can take our time. The time will come.
Even though I cannot currently get naturally hard or maintain an erection does not mean it will always be that way.
I couldn’t get hard during foreplay and it was so frustrating. Once I completely relax everything works fine. The anxiety is what creates the issue.
Fortune telling… Arranging sexual encounters causes anxiety because I predict there might be a problem.