hi
Watching porn most of my adult life I got attracted to oral sex which made my mind to only do that and skip everything
Even if I tried I didn’t get an erection so I assumed I can please women just with oral sex and when it’s not the case I got scared and told myself that I can’t get it hard and should just stick to oral sex
I am a pro in oral sex
And I even get panic after oral sex that the girl will leave me
Also I am very pleasing and obedient so I am thinking I am pleasure the women by performing oral sex and this is enough for them to stick with me
I also think that my size is big enough to satisfy them so i convinced myself just to stick to oral sex
The penetration looks like an impossibility as it requires taking pills and all as I read it online
Also one have to extremely highly fit to be able to do that
I also didn’t had good awareness of biology and how erections work
I never focused on achieving erection without getting anxiety
I have anxiety and now I working on my anxiety
I feel a lot better with my anxiousness with therapy
Now I feel like I am just waiting for the right opportunity to have sex or get more fitter
I shouldn’t just wait and go ahead with my skills
I also think that people will judge me if I don’t perform and so I think about saving myself by not performing penetrative sex
Also sex was prohibited by my culture so I grew up avoiding it and I wired my brain to avoid it all the time
Now I realize sex is an amazing pleasurable experience
I also feel like I am not sufficient or just enough
Thinking it will not stay hard and she will be dissatisfied. Reality is she is normally satisfied even without actual sex. She loves the foreplay.
All or nothing thinking: “I can’t believe this is happening again after 6 months of struggling. I am less of a man and I can’t believe I can’t get it up. I’m going to let her down again.
There was evidence that even though my erection was soft, that my wife enjoyed it because she said “That was good” afterwards and she had a release.
Catastrophizing: “She is going to divorce me. There are other men out there that don’t have this problem. She deserves better… I can’t give her what she wants”
There is strong evidence that she will not leave me, but will remain faithful to me during this time.
The last time we were together I thought sex was not going to happen. She awoke in the middle of the night and initiated it. I did not penetrate her or have a but she had fun and collapsed into my arms. It will come back I just have to focus on what is good and take the pressure off.
The last time I didn’t get hard I was feeling great up until the moment of penetration and then lost my boner unexpectedly.
Because it wasn’t going in right away I think I felt some awkwardness, and then some negative thoughts that meant I went soft. I then thought this might happen again next time.
However I spoke with my girlfriend and she understands that this happens and not to try and rush penetration. I can reprogramme a negative sense of hurry or need to penetrate to be more relaxed and focus on other things first.
Since then and starting Mojo I do feel more confident and better able to manage my thoughts.
Lost my erection during, felt like my partner would want someone who could pleasure her.
That I won’t stay hard.
Last time I had sex, I was able to stay hard most of the time, but I also couldn’t cum, and I thought about it a lot, thinking it would mean the girl would leave, that I would never see her again, that I wasn’t a real man, or maybe that J wasn’t attracted to her…but I got hard, had fun , and maybe that’s all that matters and if I focus more on the positive aspects of my sexual life, I’ll be able to grow and heal so getting hard and cumming during sex isn’t a problem anymore.
Last time I wanted to have sex, I couldn’t get a full erection.
When I do get an erection, I always finish way too fast and don’t satisfy my wife
I felt useless and believed my wife would be feeling upset and unloved due to my lack of ability to get an erection. We talked it through and she said she enjoys intercourse however she only gets an orgasm generally through clitoral stimulation. She acknowledged that we were both exhausted and would be happy to try again another night, which we did and I was able to achieve an erection.
I lost my erection during foreplay so I am not a man enough or I cannot enjoy sexual happiness as other men or I am looked down upon by other men or other men would not like me for me not showing enough libido.
Shannon said that she will be more open to sexual exposure when traveling, so I know she has fun when she is away sexually. I have fun in my comfort zone shooting pool and competing. I need to use my time on the road building my confidence by training at interactions with women to build up my skills and confidence.
I lost my erection last week during foreplay, and came early. I thought I’d made progress but now I’m unsure. I feel like I can’t trust my own body to relax. But I know that I had som positive experiences a few months ago, after doing some work on myself. There’s no reason I can’t get even better.
I am afraid that I am going to fail, whether it be failing to please my wife or just failing to get an erection. Therefore I don’t even allow myself to look forward too or enjoy the idea of having sex because I end up seeing it as a test that I will most likely fail. But in reality I have pleased my wife but my brain doesn’t let me focus on victories only failures. I have had plenty of victories and can only obtain more by still trying and not being so afraid to fail that I give up. Sex is amazing why is my brain turning it into something loathsome?
- I was watching some porn and got soft.
-“My erections aren’t as hard as they used to be. I’ll never be like I used to be.”
-It simply isn’t true. This program is actually helping. I’ve been able to jack off with no issues.
-It did get soft, but it also got hard after you refocused yourself.
- I was concerned my partner felt I was not attracted to her because I could not stay hard. She has never expressed concern about this and I have stated the affirmative many times and acted in ways that indicate as much.
Last time I was in a situation I certainly thought would end in sex, I went in confidently. When we started foreplay and I was fingering her, did not get hard and once that happened I gave up completely and made up a bunch of reasons for her to leave without telling why we weren’t going to have sex. I don’t know what happened with this, but since then I’ve had no issues getting hard and have actually made progress with how I view my performance anxiety. Soon I will be comfortable enough with myself and my partner to have care free sex.
Be positive and expect to maintain my erection. I am happy to bring my partner to orgasm in other ways, but I feel a failure because I don’t cum myself
That just because it happened doesn’t mean it will happen again you will have erections in the future and find sex enjoyable. The sex you are having now does not effect your relationship or any future outcomes.