I can reprogram the thought that I’m a terrible lover and my wife will be dissatisfied and disappointed in me. I use all of these negative patterns, especially catastrophic thinking
My partner isn’t enjoying the sex? They obviously came and stayed so they liked it
- The last time I had sex, I couldn’t get it hard when I ttied to stick it in.
- I’ve had many strong erections. I’m also young so this issue is temporaryp
I haven’t gotten hard with the last couple women so why even try, it’s not gonna work next time and I just disappoint myself even more. I feel terrible and they think something is wrong with them but it’s really me. Gotta get my thoughts and inner critic under control and enjoy sex again.
My issue for a while has been that I shouldn’t try and get a partner because I will just disappoint them, whereas I should be trying to be intimate with others and be in the moment and not think about whether it will get up.
I get very concerned that my partner would feel disappointed that I couldn’t perform. However, that’s ignoring the fact that I put in effort to make her orgasm twice from foreplay during our last encounter. So it’s probably not logical that she was particularly disappointed. I’m still disappointed in myself, but I shouldn’t necessarily project that onto her.
Although I felt my performance last night wasn’t my best, my wife had an orgasm and was
more than happy.
I tell myself ‘it’s not going to work it’s not going to work’ and during foreplay I think ‘what if it doesn’t work I’m gonna feel useless again’ and then I focus too much on the fact I’m not getting hard while kissing and lose all confidence and it’s a downward spiral from there
I’ll never be able to cum again and my partner will feel unloved - over generalisation
that was deep
It’s hard for me to initiate intimacy because I’m worried it’ll be received poorly. The truth is, my partner welcomes intimacy as long as the confidence and desire is there. I still struggle to believe it will all go well and think those doubts will ruin the mood, but it hasn’t happened in a long time.
I am not producing enough testosterone and I am diabetic, with high blood pressure & high cholesterol which all contribute to the issue. I am not a failure.
I have never not actually had sex with a woman that I started an intimate relationship with. Cold hard fact.
My partner and I have been together for four months and have had huge amounts of really good sex. This included sex with and without pills. Then I had an encounter where I went soft half way through foreplay. From rock hard to soft in moments. Then it happened again a few days later and again a week after that. I was so confused. This never happened. On the last encounter I went soft while she was going down on me. I was devastated thinking she must be disgusted and disappointed (catastrophising). She instead told me how much she loved me. She asked me if the situation was reversed what would I do. I of course said I would understand and help to relax and take all the pressure off. We then just kissed cuddled and took our time exploring each other. I got hard again and we had some great sex. What I was thinking in my head was so far from reality. I still have negative thoughts but this experience helped to show that our thoughts can be our own worst enemy.
I feel like my erection will fail or be to weak. But it is possible for erection to et strong enough. I just need to time it right and be in the right state of mind
There was a time when my girlfriend (whom is very attractive) was going down on me, and I couldn’t get hard. This has only been an issue once, but I now avoid letting her blow me because I’m afraid it will happen again. I’m working to tell myself that it was a one-time problem, it hasn’t happen before and it’s not a big deal if it happens again.
I couldn’t get hard during massage, so pleasured my girl with oral sex & she orgasmed. We talked & cuddled & she said she understood & not to worry as we enjoyed great sex previously .
My negative thoughts got in the way- I am going to be more confident & in the moment next time & it will be better
I lost my erection and couldn’t get it back again during sex with a new partner. I felt like a failure and that she wouldn’t like me. I was angry at myself that it was happening again.
She didn’t mind, I was still able to please her in other ways and just because it happened once doesn’t mean it will happen again.
I had sex this morning and my erection wasn’t as hard and rigid as I would have liked. My inner critic was giving me the negative thought that this is it for me, it will always be this or less for me, I won’t be rock hard ever again
Trying to reprogram that, I might say that one time doesn’t define me, and that the sex was still enjoyable for the both of us. Or that there’s no point worrying about what I don’t know the future to hold - it could hold that I actually get fully hard and rigid in the future, too, like why automatically go into thinking the worst?
I have a program (based on publications) that I took over for myself as well as stuck ideas when i comes to sex (how I exactly have to do it, how long it has to take, how the reaction of my partner should be). I am in my head, rather than in my body.
I want to go with the flow (like I used to) rather than following a program. I will let go of all aquired knowledge about how intimacy should take place. I am great in it and It will turn out the way it will. Nice!