There was a time where I was making out with a girl and I was loosing my erection. At certain points I was rock hard, but then the blood flow dissipated. I noticed it and was a little frustrated, but that is irrational.
Facts: It is normal for erections to come and go during foreplay
I am eating a healthier diet and incorporating cardiovascular endurance into my exercise routine to optimize my blood flow.
I am patient and I know I am capable of retaining a strong erection.
For weeks I avoiding staying at this girls house cause I kept telling myself if I stayed over I wouldn’t be able to get it up. Well when I finally decided to do it of course i I couldn’t get hard I had been telling myself that for weeks now.
I am in a strange place these days. I am 71, in a relationship with a wonderful woman the same age as me who looks and acts much younger. I find it difficult to keep up with her in bed. I get hard right off the bat, but it softens so I turn attention to her. With everything I’ve got besides a firm erection. She loves the attention, reaches climax multiple times. That makes me happy. But then no matter what, she is unable to help me reach orgasm. When I do it myself, it takes up to 20 mins. So I’m stuck taking too long to climax, I’m afraid she will get bored and frustrated. I have no idea how to fix this.
I get really turned on when kissing and making out with foreplay. But when it comes to taking clothes off, I fortune tell and think it’ll be negative. I just have to work on living in the moment. And if I can’t get erect, then I can still satisfy and maybe it’ll happen later. Just gotta go with the flow and enjoy the present intimate moment
I often have the thought of I must get an erection at any time because thats how men should be and I need to live up to this standard. When looked at from afar, it is an unreasonable and silly thought. There could be a million different reasons why it may not be working, and adding that pressure on myself to perform, will only make things worse. Instead I should just try to enjoy the moments and see where things go
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my new girlfriend and I had sex for the second time and I lost my erection twice in one night. She felt super disappointed in me and I worry I’ll never satisfy her sexually.
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it was only the second time trying. She really enjoys spending time with me and is very attracted to me and I to her. Eventually I will feel less nervous and on edge when having sex with her. I will be able to not get so wrapped up in whether she’s enjoying it or not and I will just enjoy it myself.
- I’m disappointing her because I can’t maintain an erection.
- she’ll lose interest in me because I’m not adequately pleasuring her.
Not being hard enough to penetrate thoughts and also not getting an erection from being in her presence seeds doubt of “am I even attracted to her sexually”
I couldn’t get an erection the first night with my partner.
I felt pathetic, and a disappointment. I thought that I’m going to struggle for the rest of my life with this.
It didn’t work the first night because I was nervous, but it worked the second night very well because i was more relaxed.
I was focused to much on my performance the first night and not being disappointing to my partner.
Last time we had sex she had to work it in in order to penetrate I felt like that ruined the moment
Facts- my wife is very good about it and once I have communicated has no problem with this. She really enjoyed the sex once we got going and we felt very connected
Alt- I could be getting soft before penetration because I feel without her help I can’t penetrate. Negative thought stuck in my head
I will get a great erection and then during foreplay it may go down a little and as soon as that happens I can hear myself panic in my head and completely mess myself up.
I loose my erections regularly when changing a position even if its only a brief second of no penetration, it’s enough time to go flaccid and struggle to get it hard again
I struggle with emotional reasoning a lot and fortune telling when it comes to sex I think I will always dissapoint so it makes me anxious.
Facts: she always tells me when we are on WE ARE ON so I know she is into it and understands that sometimes this can happen. And we are still seeing each other and its been 6 months so she must be into it enough that it’s not an issue. I always think any affection will lead to sex so everytime we kiss or touch each other I think “better get hard” which could be putting too much pressure on myself
When I a had sex with my former partner, I lost my erection as soon as I entered.
I was completely embarrassed and thought she saw me as less then. It fed into pst insecurity and instantly thought there was something wrong with me and I could never pleasure her.
I’ve had erections before and in fact have them all the time. She was sweet and could’ve been understanding but I never gave her the chance.
Definitely a fortune telling and catastrophizing. She never indicated to me that she was disappointed or that she would leave .
I was extremely nervous about it the whole thing. I was way too much in my head. Thought more about the act itself than sharing an amazing experience with someone I care about.
Can’t get it up as usual - I was quiet nervous, it makes sense I was unable to get aroused, I was nervous in every occasion I attempted sex, first few times I attempted I was rather to drunk or to high
I never have problems getting it up on my own which proves that my struggles stems from being nervous about doing it with someone else
I’m not manly enough, being a men isn’t based on erections!
I wanna give up, I’m embarrassed - there’s nothing to be embarrassed about the goal isn’t to get an erection but to seek pleasure
She must be disappointed - she probably isn’t, she’s probably more worried about herself doing something wrong
Why is it not going up? When I masturbate I seek pleasure, I don’t focus on getting hard that just happens when seeking pleasure, trying to get hard makes the whole thing not pleasurable
It’s gonna take ages before sex happens for me, this is not a competition, why pressure yourself like this, it will take the time it needs to take for you, enjoy the ride, enjoy the journey
I’ll never experience sex with someone - there’s many nevers in you life that did eventually happen, thinking like it’s never gonna happen creates pressure of having to make it happen, sex shouldn’t be a chore!
She’ll get bored of me - she didn’t she actually saw me again after that just like every girl before her, I’m the one that tend to lose interest when this happen, and if a women would lose interest in you for having difficulty around sex she shouldn’t be with you nor deserve you
My thought: I get nervous going from foreplay to sex when I anticipate us having sex. This makes me anxious, and I fail to perform.
Reality: Throughout the day, when I kiss her, playfully fool around with her sexually, such as spanking, flashing her, etc, she will flash me back, and I always get hard. I get hard from even a simple kiss from her. I am training my flight response to realize that when we are kissing and getting intimate, there is no fear involved, and there is nothing to worry about
I often feel undesired. No one find me attractive. Even when my partner constantly reassures me that I’m sexy and handsome. But I’ve always been very cruel to myself.
I had a Fail of erection last time after a long period of no sex with my beloved partner
It happened because I Was thinking and spectating my 
too much
I had an amazing 1 year sex life before encountering this problem so I think I will get over it soon.
- no ! why is this happening?? Then I start panicking and I just stop.
She’s going to make fun of me and think I’m not man enough to fuck her.
She’s going to tell people about this!!’
She actually did tell someone and it was terrible. But just because she did it. doesn’t mean other women
will.
Could not get it up in the night. She was good with this. Both drunkish. Did other things. In morning I got hard and we had extended sex.
We had drank. I was stressed from work. First time for us. She liked to scratch, painful. I am worried about these relationships. I am also older & 50 years.
But will get better
Last time I had sex I set myself up for failure as soon and I penetrated my wife I got in my head about how long I was gonna stay hard inside her