So I have been facing issues with my girl fo last 12 months, we only had sex 3 times I just feel not attracted to her, but I watch porn pretty much every day and masturbate but when she wants to get intimate with me I avoid her, this causing issues for our 4 years relationship and giving me severe anxiety
I need some help but I’m not sure what i should do or who should I ask for help from
Do I need to quit porn?
You shouldn’t try to quit it cold turkey but you should stay away for a few weeks or months and if you come back to it limit it the most you can
Hey watch the therapy sessions on regulating porn use - I found it helpful
I went through this when I was 21. My relationship of 3 years lost that spark. She would mention it to me because we would go for a while without it and honestly it was because I feel like I wanted her to be more of something that I watched from porn.
Here I am 5 years later and I just think i should’ve communicated what I wanted from her instead of leave her bc I wanted hotter sex. Y’all have been together for 4 years. I’m sure you care about her and she cares about you. I second what the ppl above have said before me.
Communication is hard, especially when you have anxiety. From my experiences, opening up to the people who care about you is the hardest thing to do, but it’s something that I wish I manned up about back then instead of trying to be the tough guy
I would definitely start with cutting out porn completely. Eventually when you are aroused and would turn to porn, you can talk to your partner and slowly develop more comfort with sharing intimate moments with them.
Porn is something I’d highly recommend quitting. Easier said than done - believe me I’m on that recovery path myself. It takes time but it’s worth it. Right now your brain has gotten wired to be aroused by a screen and not the real live woman in your life.
Porn is a super-stimulus, it’s giving you huge hits of dopamine and novelty at high rates of speed that your girlfriend couldn’t give you even if she was doing constant costume changes.
You deserve love, and you deserve real sexual connection. Unfortunately the reality is that at the end of the day and each porn session you’re left with the clear realization that the performers you saw on the screen are not there in your house to hug, kiss and sleep with you. I had to face that harsh reality tons of times myself to really get it.
There are groups that can help you quit, I’m part of one called Leap of Courage that I’d recommend.
Where can we find that group?