I always get anxious during sex. And even more anxious when I have to put a condom on. In the last years I haven’t come inside a woman and I feel like I’ve got a huge block.
It makes me feel like shit and on the spot I feel like a lesser man… I’ve done a lot of competitive sports and I’m super performance driven so Havin ED is really painful each time it happens.
I also get super lonely because every time I talked about to friends they would listen - but then a few weeks later they would make a joke about it which would make me feel like shit.
Same when we would talk about sex with friends and my ex girlfriend would be around making comments… I felt like a failure so many times.
I’ve struggled with this since my first sexual encounter when trying to lose my virginity but was so nervous I couldn’t perform. I had a long term partner and we worked through it and I forgot all about it but once we broke up it creeped back into my life and now with my new girlfriend it’s happened a few times and it seems to always be a thought in the back of my mind. Some days are good some days I panic and can’t get it up. I’ve resorted to using viagra at times to make sure it works but that isn’t a long term solution.
Yes I get nervous prior and my heart rate goes crazy and my body shuts down. It’s happened my whole life
I take medication regularly. My partner loves me and she never gets upset if I don’t get it up. But it eats me alive and I get angry or sad and I’m my own head
Sometimes it does, mostly when work or my general life causes me to have to constantly think about that instead of focusing on my partner. This causes my partner to feel insecure as she thinks that she isn’t attractive enough for me when in reality it’s something that’s wrong with me. I have/still do have issues with porn as well and I think that that affects how well I perform in the bedroom
Yea. I have often taken medication for it and it works perfectly fine. But I can only get and maintain an erection when it’s someone I’m extremely comfortable with!
I never struggled but have recently the past few months have been in my head
I feel like I’ve always been anxious to some degree during sex. It was especially noticeable when I would be intimate with someone for the first time. I’m now with my wife of over 10 yrs and I get anxious but in a different way. I don’t have issues becoming erect and having penetration initially but if we change positions or try something new the fear of losing my erection creeps in and I do end up losing it. I also lose it during times when I’m giving my wife oral for lengthy periods of time. Ultimately I will relax and it will get hard again allowing me to finish but it’s frustrating when my penis goes up and down several times while being intimate.
Yes. I do get erection in the start but it doesn’t stay for long enough and I think that it is not hard enough for penetration.
I can’t get it up or keep it up with my partner of 19 years. And the more I worry about not getting it up, the worse it gets. Recovering from a porn addiction is a big part of the problem, but there are other complexities, too.
I’m trapped in a vicious cycle. Hoping this app can break that cycle.
Hi, thanks for sharing your experiences. I just cannot stop thinking about my performance, and then I somehow lose interest in my sexual partner. It is like I fake I do not care, in order to make it unimportant. But, I would do anything to get my erections back and make love like I used to.
Yes. I know this has happened before so I worry it will happen again. The first time was when trying for children and felt pressured to have ‘sex on demand’
It effects me from times to times and it’s paralizing and triggering
Yes - if it’s likely that I’m going to have sex I worry a lot before that I won’t function properly and as a result I’m beaten before I start
I went from having normal erections daily to literally having none at all literally overnight. I think the last one I had was when a then girlfriend used a flashlight on me. Literally the day after since I’ve been unable to get a full erection since.
Even Viagra or similar products only have a limited effect, and I guess that when I enter sexual encounters with my new/ current girlfriend my anxiety/ performance issues mentally is handicapping me. I’ve seen a doctor, and blood tests have come back with nothing.
I feel pressure to perform
I have been anxious about sex ever since getting back into the dating world after my divorce. I fell like I am not going to measure up to previous partners my partner has had and it makes me feel like less of a man. I have not been able to get an erection with her even though I find her extremely attractive. I am in my own head and hope I can figure out how to fix this. How to relax and feel comfortable in sexual situations
At one point I did have the confidence to perform regularly, but once the regularity was interrupted I began to revert. The relationship that I had the most success in ended. The next relationship I was in started well enough but I was having delayed ejaculation and wasn’t cumming, this upset my partner and spiraled me into sever performance anxiety and ED problems, at one point she withheld sexual attention because “things were going well” and she did not understand how to deal with it. This relationship was doomed from the start, which I know now, but wasn’t enough to back peddle the damage done. My current partner is amazing and is very secure with herself and is being very supportive.
With her I find myself getting several erections but they’re struggling to last to get to the next level.
Yes. Pretty much every time. Started in my mid 20s and continued on until today and I’m 38. I’ve always thought I could just “manage”, but it’s to the point that my marriage is falling apart.
Sex has become a chore and I don’t enjoy it because of this crippling anxiety I have performance wise.
Yes I get anxious all the time, I do have medical problems which may be preventing me. My mental health has been really low for sometime. I just always feel anxious about it and can never control it now
I never used to have a problem, and could get hard and orgasm multiple times per session and multiple times a day. I am in a long term relationship (10yrs). My wife switched off sexually about 7 years ago, and after being constantly rebuffed my sexual confidence was absolutely shot as we would go months and at times a full year without having sex. We had our child a couple of years ago due to a one off. We are now trying for a 2nd child and the expectation for me to perform is causing massive ED. During the last 7 year my porn use age has sky rocketed, which really hasn’t helped. I hope this course helps.