I get anxious if the mood isn’t quite right. With some partners I can go again and again. But lately with my previous three, I’ve just not felt the same desire/passion despite being physically and mentally attracted to them. The erections I get are inconsistent. Sometimes they’re fine and I can fuck like I want to, but in the next breath I can lose the erection and have to restart everything.
Often, I think it’s down to being concerned about if I’m pleasing my partner or if I’m concerned I’ll finish a little too quickly after a period of abstinence.
Yes
I am a very anxious person in general I don’t think this helps me
Yes when initiating intimate contact even after a date of thinking how much I would like to have sex with my partner sat next to me. My flight response kicks in makes it really difficult to keep the romantic moment going and I end up usually pulling away! It’s unbelievably frustrating!
Yes I do, I think about will I be able to perform and please my wife. Will I cum too fast and does she really want me right now.
A bit, just makes me less present
I get anxious during sex pretty much every time I engage in it. I have always had an issue with premature ejaculation not lasting even seconds if I even made it to penetration. For the most part I have always been able to stay hard enough to continue for several more minutes, long enough for my partner to orgasm. This problem has never allowed me to be as passionate in bed as I would like. The longer the relationship the harder it is to stay erect after orgasm in fear of disappointment to my partner and now that I’m married this fear is multiplied by an exponential amount now causing an inability to get hard at all not even for masterbation. I feel shame associated with sexual activity because I know how it will ultimately end.
I spend too much time in bed worried about how much my partner is enjoying it and how sexy it is. Like I’ll focus really hard, telling myself to focus on features of my partner that I like, or telling myself how hot it is and obsessively wondering if they are really moaning or fake moaning. It will sometimes make me so soft in the middle of sex after starting out hard as a rock. I look forward to the day when I can just be a mammal and plow somewhat selfishly. The word “selfish” has a negative connotation but my supportive partner has said they prefer it that way anyway, it’s more natural to just bang someone you are turned on by, not obsess over whether they’ll write home about it.
I’ve always some sort of anxiety that’s affected me. It got better as I got more comfortable with a partner but it was always lingering in some ways.
It was never an issue when I was masturbating which led me to find out it was psychological
Yes , that I won’t get hard or stay hard. Or cum inside a women.
Performance anxiety gets in the way even when I masterbate. I am 74 and this only started 3 or 4 years ago. I’m in a long term gay relationship and we don’t have a sexual relationship anymore. I watch porn almost daily- it often helps me get half hard to masterbate.
Yes, but really only about getting/keeping a good erection. Can sometimes happen while being given a blowjob. Thinking and then worrying is often a downward spiral
Negatively effects my performance
I used to do online exhibitionism when I was much younger, at the beginning it was fun but it soon started to affect my ability to stay hard. It started being linked to whether someone was watching or not in a very binary on/off way, like my penis had ADHD.
Then I got into my first relationship which was fun originally but the relationship soon started to struggle for other reasons which affected my ability to get hard, probably due to anxiety and stress, which led my partner to feel like she wasn’t exciting me anymore - leading to even more anxiety and stress to the point where I would avoid intimacy and just watch porn when she wasn’t around.
I feel like my erection issues have stopped me from ever having a healthy sex life, it’s something I wish I had but I almost avoid it because of performance anxiety.
Yes, but with my ex gilfriends anxiety goes away in the 2nd or 3rd time when we tried to have sex. Now with my actual girlfriend anxiety dosen’t go away for all and it is really annoying…
Yes. I fear not being able to perform because I can’t get hard or quickly lose my erection.
I never used to have this issue. Until I went months without having sex, I started getting more and more worried about sex and creating disappointing scenarios before sex even happened. Now I am dating someone and things got really awkward in the bedroom, luckily she is very understanding but at the same time she shouldn’t have to suffer for this.