Apply nonviolent communication to a recent conflict

Things haven’t been great for a few months. One thing that really triggers me is when my wife suggests we cook meals separately. It can come up in conversation for different reasons but it really annoys me because it feels like she’s trying to break down the things that keep us together. The last time she said it, I said ‘if you want to do that you can go down to your dad’s and eat meals there’. Obviously I shouldn’t have said it and it was stupid because I don’t want that to happen and she was like ‘I’m this close to doing that’.

Last argument was about a stressful housemate situation I let go in too long. She felt unheard, I was kind of ignoring the situation too. Neither of us were happy. She drank and all filters disappeared. Triggered me to retreat. Still an issue but hopefully things will improve. Housemate is gone.

My first partner back in my late teens made a lot of hurtful comments about some psychological ED that I experienced. All I needed was trust, support, and acceptance; however, I ended up feeling fragile, frustrated, and lonely. My partner at the time, being a young and attractive woman, had obviously never experienced this issue, and took it quite personally, which I think is why she said such damaging things to me. All of my issues stem from this year, but thankfully many years later we reconnected and started seeing each other again briefly, and there was no psychological ED issues :ok_hand:t3:

My mom is getting older and her capacity to remember is fading. She tends to lose the same things on a weekly basis. We repetitively get in very heated at arguments around our experiences of memory to solve lost things problem.

I imagine she is feeling insecure and tired because she needs to feel confident in herself and know she has the capacity to be independent.

My mom is getting older and losing her ability to remember. On a weekly basis she loses the same things that get her through her day. When it comes to solving these problems we both have different memories of where or what happened. This quickly devolves into heated arguments.

I imagine she feels frustrated and self-conscious because she needs to feel confident and capable to operate independently on a day to day basis.

This

My partner needs a lot of attention and when I’m not giving it them they tend to get very angry and shut me out. There’s nothing I can do in those moments to bring them out of their funk and then I get triggered as a result.

Most of our conflicts surround my wife’s emotions and me not meeting her needs to support her through those emotions. I am an engineer and go into problem solve mode for her and it’s really hard for me to just accept that she doesn’t want me to solve her problems but to just listen and support her it drives me nuts because often times to me there is a clear cut way of avoiding or dealing with the issue but I need to do a better job listening and supporting and validating her and letting her work through those feelings on her own. I tend to brush off a lot of her emotions as ridiculous because to me the issues are so trivial.

I’m a very conflict-avoidant person and I remember letting my resentment build for something I thought my ex was doing wrong rather than trying to talk it out with her.