What's one thought you can reprogram today? (early climax-dedicated thread)

I’m nervous about having sex because I’m unsure of the outcome. I want to feel a balance of confidence in my control and willingness to let go and be spontaneous with pleasure.

Aside from getting hard, another negative thought I frequently think is: “I shouldn’t bother having sex because I’m too out of shape. I’ll never be able to satisfy anyone with such little stamina.” While I am working out and trying to improve my fitness in the gym, I shouldn’t deprive myself of sex until I meet a certain threshold. I’m comparing myself to an ideal man that I might never be able to compete with. I can have plenty of fun even with my limited stamina, and sex is actually a great workout for me too! :laughing:

Last time I went to have sex I was drunk. And couldn’t get hard or when I got a bit hard it went soft. Next morning the same thing happened.
I was shocked as this has never happened.

I know I can get hard. I know I’m a caring lover.

Last time I had sex I struggled to get hard at first and felt like a general failure that it had happened again, and felt like the girl I was with was probably disappointed.

But honestly, I was stressed, drunk, and she came on so fast and hard i didn’t even have time to relax and get turned on. She might’ve been a little disappointed - but ultimately the sex ended up being pretty good after I had time to relax

The last time I tried to have sex, I was able to get hard enough to penetrate my girlfriend but unfortunately my negative thoughts in my head managed to overcome me and I started getting soft and wasn’t able to maintain my erection and eventually lost it completely and wasn’t able to re-penetrate her or gain my erection back.

I know that once I’m able to get over these negative thoughts I’ll be able to succeed in what I’m wanting to give her. She’s extremely supportive of me and wants to see me succeed and that’s whats driving me into wanting to better myself.

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Last time I had sex I managed to get an erection prior to seeing her, but it died once she got in the room. I panicked and didn’t think I’d be able to stay hard, sure enough I wasn’t able to

The last “embarrassing” time I had sex was during a 3some with my wife. We had gotten into a big argument right before the girl got to our place, so unfortunately, I could not stay hard with either of them.

Knowing she is about to cum and then regularly suddenly ejaculating

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Last time I could feel the stress creeping in my heart was pounding and the breathwork wasn’t working, but I’ve told myself I will beat this with time and I’ll get over my negative thoughts and be able to have enjoyable sex

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Last time i had sex, I went soft during it. I got worried about it, and then it’s all I could focus on, which made it softer. She mentioned it, in a joking way, but it still made me feel bad. That experience was why I started this.

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Last time I had sex, everything was going great, the foreplay and everything leading up to actually penetrating, I had an erection and was ready. I took a short break to go to the washroom, and put protection on and when I went back it was like my mojo was fading fast and all I could think about was “is this really happening right now” I was really worried. I didn’t get hard again that night because I was partially in shock of what happened, but I knew I had to bounce back and deal with this, that’s why I’m here.

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I can get hard enough to penetrate but then I get into my head and it slowly goes soft which makes me focus on that and I done

The thought that I need to rush sex or I won’t stay hard. In reality, sex is more arousing and satisfying when I’m taking my time kissing and feeling my wife’s body and turning her on before I start penetrating.

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The last few times I had sex with my ex partner I didn’t make her orgasm. I thought it was because I’d lost my sex skills and my libido. I felt like a failure because I had to really concentrate to finish and it wasn’t anywhere near as enjoyable as in the past, for either of us (emotional reasoning and mind reading).
Really, they said they still enjoyed it and were close to orgasm most of the time and I wasn’t a failure, just stressed and emotionally going through stuff that was affecting my libido.
I realised now that I was hiding my emotions around the relationship, from myself and her. I cared about her a lot but I felt myself feeling less attraction to her, a little physically but mainly emotionally. This affected my state of mind a lot, from anxiety to libido (it’s all wrapped up together).

Consider doing the kegel exercises if you haven’t already. My testosterone levels were perfect and am in my 30s but was not getting morning woods at all. Once I started doing them I started waking up hard again

My ex-gf and I hadn’t had sex in years so I felt like I really lost my libido. Plus, there was a lot of negative baggage around sex in the relationship. During my first sexual encounter shortly after the breakup, I was able to keep it hard during foreplay but when it came time to penetrate I lost my erection as I was putting on the condom. I could feel myself getting soft during that pause to look for a condom, put it on, etc., and I got nervous that it’ll stay soft. Lo and behold, it stayed soft. I could tell she was surprised/disappointed, but luckily she was understanding and I was able to satisfy her in other ways. At least she felt it was good enough to keep meeting up ¯_(ツ)_/¯

I eventually got it up for penetration but only because we were too caught up in the moment to get a condom. Luckily nothing happened, and I don’t want to rely on unsafe sex to penetrate…so I have to keep working on it.

At least I know I still have my libido and can satisfy women in other ways.

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That I won’t fix my problem

I can’t finish and that’s okay.

I won’t always be hard at all times around a girl but that’s normal

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That sounds nice compared to my problems of not getting hard to be able to penetrate (I guess we always envy others so I’m sure it’s frustrating for you). I don’t know about you but with my ex, I would often cum just before her and it would make her more aroused to feel me coming and it would make her cum. Sometimes she wouldn’t cum unless I did like that. Cumming together or close is really nice. If she’s getting close, you cumming could help, and if not, you could continue to pleasure her afterwards in other ways?