I’ve never tried this before but it seems like it would be the emotionally responsible thing to do. I have always struggled with this type of communication before so I am excited to give it a shot when the time comes.
Would definitely feel like a big weight off my shoulders. Just not an easy conversation to have, but may be a necessary one
I have struggled to do it because I’ve felt it was something I would get over. But the longer it has continued the harder it is for me to want to discuss it.
ED is a recent development for me since my divorce. I generally feel much more confident communicating with my new partner. It is a more mature relationship. One area I struggle with communication is around sexual performance. She tends to take it personally. Last time it happened I shut down and withdrew. I needed reassurance but so did she. Neither of us gave the care to each other that we needed and it ended up in conflict. A bit of an emotional stand off. I need to work on that and approach these situations with confidence and this video helped.
If you’re not discussing with your partner, you’re fucking up, and likely making it worse for yourself by staying in your own head.
It’s tough. I want to bring it up but feel like maybe I will get it up with her. I wouldn’t want to ruin my chances of being with her but I get it. It has to be done.
I think i am at the point in my life where I would be comfortable having that conversation with someone i am dating
I’m nervous about but I’d definitely like to try
I don’t think you can keep a relationship without taking about the embarrassing stuff
Would feel like a weight off my shoulders
A bit nervous but I know how effective it would be. Also most people are good people who want to be supportive
Ive kinda been forced to say these kind of things before because I’m diabetic, and I know my blood sugar has to be perfect in order to have an erection. This being said, it feels different when I can’t blame my struggles on something I can’t control. And I know that if I did tell my partner that night that I have trouble that she’d be completely understanding, but it’s still very vulnerable feeling.
It’s tough. We’ve been together a long time and sex has always been tough to navigate. We’ve always had very different sex drives. I’ve always had a hard time cuming with a partner. But Ive largely accepted it, and really value sex that’s about enjoying the intimacy, touch, and playfulness, regardless of the outcome. And she’s very outcome oriented and sees sex as a task or box to check. So she really struggles with feeling like she’s failed if I don’t cum and quickly. This disconnect has definitely contributed to my confidence and ED issues. Sex has become a negotiation and an exercise in convincing her to do something she isn’t into. I give her credit for trying, because she loves me and wants it to work, but it’s tough. And we’re not great communicators about it because it’s become so emotionally charged.
But I know that better communication is going to be huge, so I’m nervous but excited to work in it.
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I have discussed it in advance with a couple of past partners and found it always provides a bit of comfort and alleviates some stress going into it. It can also build some extra trust and in my experience, partners usually value the trust you’re giving them with this vulnerable topic. Definitely the best course of action.
This is something I have felt comfortable in discussing with my primary partner early on and we generally have a very positive sex mice and times when I’ve struggled haven’t been as big a deal. I haven’t got to the point of feeling okay with telling other partners and those are where the issues come up. It’s something I would want to get more comfortable with
I was about to sleep with a new partner for the first time sober last year and I was quite nervous during foreplay. I made a conscious decision to stop and to communicate and to explain to her my history of anxiety around performance and she was completely understanding and I felt the pressure drop off my shoulders. It’s amazingly effective as a ‘tool’ if you want to look at it that way, but more importantly and putting the end result to one side, it’s always better to have healthy, honest communication. And being open and vulnerable tends to strengthen bonds and do so quickly. It’s a win-win.
I was definitely able to do it a few months back with my wife and she was very understanding - She said that for her, sex was not about cumming or orgasming, but for enjoying the moment and touching each other!
Wife and I have talked and she is very understanding but my feelings of guilt are still there
I don’t think telling someone this on a one night stand scenario would be wise
Ashamed