My inner coach is Aragorn from Lord of the rings (dont laugh). The critic, who is a childish version of myself throwing a tantrum, said you’re dead down there and it’s going to go wrong, you’re just not sexually confident. The coach said you’ve not even tried, don’t close yourself down. The critic said that it’s futile, something will mess it all up at some stage. the coach said you are safe, and you can do this, open yourself, be brave.
My inner coach is a powerful voice, a defiant voice, it has such righteousness, hope, and power that the inner critic can hardly argue back.
My experience came through most strongly in sensations, with my inner critic coming through in tightness in my throat and jaw. My inner coach softened those areas and at one point felt like it was subsuming the critic in care, almost like a hug. That felt powerful and cathartic.
My inner critic is someone who hates me. He wants me to fail. He wants to show me who’s boss. My inner coach is one of my heroes. He’s “bigger and badder.” In the exercise he told my critic to f*ck off. I just want to enjoy my partner and have pleasure in my sexual life.
Both are myself. However one is a more confident and challenging voice. Coach-questions and tries to find evidence of it not being true
My inner critic was a wimpy version of myself that was slouchy. While my inner coach was standing up straight with my chest up and out.
My inner critic made points like “it will happen again, like it always does.” My coach would counter with “it hasn’t always happened and just because it has happened doesn’t mean it will again.”
Black demon on right shoulder. Yellow man on left. Left says right is a “stupid ■■■■”. Black went away, shaken off body
My inner coach is direct and forceful, like I am when I’m feeling confident
The inner coach made counterpoints to everything the inner critic was saying. It kind of felt like a court room.
My inner critic is a caricature of a younger version of myself that didn’t understand why this happens and is worried that I’ll end up in another extremely embarrassing situation that caused me to have an anxiety attack in the past, but my inner coach is a caricature of the current me that completely understands the ins and outs of this situation and is therefore more level headed and reassuring.
My inner critics concern comes from a well meaning place, but it in and of itself is the cause of the issue, which is where my coach steps in to explain how simply relaxing and enjoying myself fixes everything.
Inner critic: you’re not gonna last long anymore; you’ve had too much fun and that’s why this is happening… inner coach: you can have fun again; you can last long like you have before
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My inner critic focuses on reminders of times when I haven’t reached orgasm or lost my erection. It is negative and heavy. My coach firmly reminds the critic of the truth, that my ability to perform is now way better, that I cum a most every time and that I’m not a machine. Very good exercise!
Inner coach was myself being real with my critic and shooting it down as irrelevant and not real. My inner critic says you have had issues so more of the same to come. My inner coach said that’s not true as it’s non sense. Adam is healthy and sexual and more than capable. He just wants to have fun. Adam is confident.
“Shut the fuck up you’ve done this before”
My inner coach is a strong man. He is positive. He does not criticize, condemn, or complain. He is understanding and encourages you to get what you really want. My inner critic is an invader. It is an amorphous energy and cannot be held. It is pervasive and overwhelming. It tries to undermine, discourage, belittle, and disempower. It is afraid. The energy of the inner critic is inherently negative. It’s aim is to stop all movement and to create a void. The inner coach accepts the inner critic. He can feel the energy of the inner critic with full force. It passes right through. The inner coach does not try to compete with the inner critic. He has already won. He listens to the inner critic, understands where it’s coming from, and over time builds rapport with the inner critic. Eventually, the inner coach influences the inner critic, who softens. The inner coach is relaxed and dominant. His will and drive cannot be broken.
My inner coach is too cool to start an argument so he just smirks at the inner critic, pats him on the back and sends him on his way. He doesn’t have time for that kind of nonsense because he knows how good we can be and how much fun we can have
inner critic said “what if I don’t get the erection”, inner coach said “don’t worry, you’re getting so much better with time, you’ll get it, enjoy the sensations with the girl you are with”
Inner critic: the moment’s coming up and you know it’s probably not going to work. Remember all the times you tried and it didn’t get up?
Inner coach: Oh fuck off! Jesus you get tiresome. He’s fucked with a perfectly hard dick time plenty of times even when he thought it might not go as planned.
You’ll be right kid. Have fun.
I found myself imagining two of the coaches from Strictly and letting them argue over me. I wonder how they’d score me
The critic said “you won’t be able to get an erection” and the coach said “yes he will, he’s been doing all these exercises”