My inner critic is like a gnawing sensation in my solar plexus coupled with a snide voice telling me that I’m useless and will end up alone
My inner critic is less critic and more questioner. Constantly asking am I hard. Does she notice. Should I be embarrassed. Etc
My inner critic isn’t vocalized, but shows up as divided attention, with a strong focus directed towards my penis and monitoring its hardness.
My inner voice tells me you’re not going to be able to satisfy her. She’s gonna leave if you let it happen again and go limp. You’re letting her down… she should leave you because you’re not good enough
Mine starts as a feeling: tense in my neck and shoulders and a feeling of dread dripping down my face. It reminds me of the stereotypical anime depiction of a character mortified of a situation, frozen in place, purple in the face and an inner “Oh no!” going through my head. The quiet inner voice will pipe up and alternate between positive encouragement and recognition of how I’m already screwing it up. As loud as it gets it can’t compete in volume with the maelstrom of emotions as I want to enjoy the moment but find myself unable to break through and actually do so.
I am good at foreplay when I dont have to rely on my dick being hard.
I am nervous it will not get hard or I won’t make my partner cum.
Hbu TV ex
I have to avoid doing anything off putting that my partner doesn’t find sexy.
My inner critic it makes me to question myself if I’ll have an erection before sex. If I don’t then it’s not possible to have sex with penetration and 90% the cases will not happen. If I manage to have an erection just before sex then it’s not a problem anymore.
But sometimes I loose the erection during sex (in about 10-15% of the cases) and after that it’s difficult or impossible to get it back.
I kinda tell these to myself. Checking how hard it is. Is it going soft? Or i should hurry before it may decide to go soft
My innercritic is a silent voice in my mind that tells my my erection is going to drop as soon as i put the condom on.
My inner critic feels invisible to me. It feels like me, like a memory or an experience I’ve had before. It is expertly camouflaged to seem like these thoughts are natural and true. Sometimes I notice it and try to turn down the volume on what it’s saying; but most times I don’t even notice that I’m already listening to it and doing what it’s saying. Like I’d believe that if I watched porn or masturbated earlier in the day then that means for sure I can’t have sex that day. Or if I feel any kind of discomfort then I won’t get hard. Some of these thoughts became intrinsic and I truly believed them and even started practicing ways to accommodate them or work around them. For example, if I thought the possibility of sex might appear on the weekend, then I can’t masturbate for a week before just to be safe. Now I can slightly see my inner critic. It’s a worm wearing a suit. It tells me that all conditions have to be right if I want to have sex. It sows doubt into my mind. Now I can see it.
My inner critic doesn’t always have a voice. It has a feeling though. A feeling of numbness, a super focus on sensations- what am I feeling what am I not feeling, oh no I’m not feeling any sensation, and I’m worried I’m going to lose it, am I still hard or no? Maybe just look down, maybe don’t, just try to focus on something else. Am I too tense? Am I too relaxed? Is she noticing or is it all just in my head?
And then when I’m not in the act, it’s still a bunch of questioning. Is this ever going to stop? Am I dooming myself by watching porn or masturbating? Am I just with the wrong person? But if I am, is this just going to get much worse? It’s easier to be with someone who knows what I’m going through than to try and fail to impress someone who I’m more into. But is it even that or is it just something in my own mind, no matter the partner?
This guy said it perfectly for my situation:
My inner critic attempts to coach me throughout the day leading up to sex about what I should be doing in order to succeed later. Eat healthy, don’t masterbate days before, exercise, don’t drink alcohol, do mindfulness exercises. It puts so much pressure on the act that when it comes around, I find it very hard to pull it off. Then when I feel I’ve done everything “right” and it still doesn’t work, I get incredibly discouraged. Then the cycle beings again. It’s very unfortunate because I’m with a woman that I really like and it’s starting to sour my desire to see and hang out with her because I’m dreading the awkwardness of this problem happening each night.
Me inner critic is me totally , worse part is when I try to come up with excuses after the fact that I couldn’t get it up and explain to my partner …
My inner critic love to question and doubt, question and doubt, question and doubt. It become a soundtrack playing on an infinite loop.
My inner critic is another version of myself, that has a combo of my Dad’s religious judgement, mixed in with my own voice telling me of my failures sexually with my two previous wives. It says, do you really know how to please a woman? Does she really want you?
My inner critic lives in my chest, at the bottom of my sternum. It tells me that I’m not worthy of sex and that when my partner realizes that I’m not good at it she’s going to leave me bc on some level that’s how I feel my last sexual relationship ended. It tells me I’m less of a man for preferring slow strokes to fast strokes. It spits all my fears back in my face and makes me feel terrible about having sex in general.
The voice is a worm chilling in my ear telling me to make sure to stay hard and not lose it
The day is just different when I know I’ll be having sex. The inner critic and anxiety kicks in right away. I do whatever I can to get rid of it whether it’s supplements or not doing self pleasure for days before hoping that I’ll be aroused enough to get and stay hard. But the inner critic always freaks out and thinks of the negatives.
My inner critic is my own voice telling me that I am hard enough, that I am going well, that I must take it to the end, do it longer, please her, but then, also telling me just as loudly that I am not going to make it, that I am going to lose it, that she’s not enjoying, that I wont satisfy her, that someone else has done it better with her, that I am no longer up to this, that I am getting tired, that the room is too hot or too cold,
My inner critic is not so much a voice, but appears as dread, from the initial thought of opportunity through to doing the deed. It started as a teenager, I’d lead myself away from sexual encounters because of this anxiety & dread.
It’s never really left me, despite being with my wife now for 12 years, it’s always been present and discouraged me from trying new things/positions for warranted fear of losing my hardon. Lately its reared it’s ugly head again with a bit more enthusiasm and the thoughts of letting her & myself down flow through my head as soon as sex is mentioned & again, my dick has no life in it at all, for no other reason than myself getting in my own head. My inability to rise to the occasion now is more consistent than it’s ever been and becoming a problem grrr.