Condoms can’t feel enough so it starts to go down because I can’t stay in moment.
when the foreplay ends and the sex is about to begin
Anytime I’m not physically moving my hips in a thrusting motion, so if my partner wants to take the lead like when she is on top, or wants me to lie back and just enjoy a blowjob or really anytime the focus is on me and my pleasure alone.
Just thinking that my partner doesn’t actually want to have sex, or isn’t enjoying herself.
Just the sudden realisation that I will need to put myself inside my partner and it triggers like a spike of panic that is almost wordless - then it’s a succession of internal dialogue just trying to relax, but that tends to make it worse
“Wrong hole” miss placement
Grabbing lubricant after foreplay can sometimes be that “trigger”. That inner critic starts to talk to me during this “break” time and I create a situation where I lose my erection by assuming that I will.
Transitioning from foreplay into intercourse can sometimes involve grabbing lubricant or setting up physically which can allow that inner critic to creep in and start creating doubt on whether or not my erection is going to last, which of course, makes it disappear
When she gets up to close the door, or asks me to.
If she is distracted by something (e.g. hears a noise).
Pretty much anything that takes me out of the moment
I just get into my head and tell myself “it won’t work” or “I won’t be able to get it up”.
Transition from foreplay to penetration
I think I would say during the foreplay phase. When I’m stripping down or peeling her undergarments off I sometimes get in my headspace there and spectatoring occurs creating issues with my erection
Threesomes, random hook ups and bathhouses. But I love them & want it so bad that I go into my head. Then getting out takes a partner that doesn’t care and they take it slower, they want to kiss and touch and slowly work into sex. Just going right at it gives me anxiety.
When things get slowed down and I have time to over think/worry
During the start it’s absolutely fine and I’ve no issue with a hard on but as soon as it becomes time for sex it’s like a switch gets flipped and suddenly bang goes the hard on
Putting on a condom that is difficult to get on or tight. Also, a partner wanting sex without foreplay.
Putting on a condom or right when we begin to undress.
No it’s everytime. Every since the first time I couldn’t perform. Now everytime I try to have sex I can’t.
Breaking to get condom or try to wear one