When my girlfriend and I go to have sex but she’s not quite lubricated enough for me to get it in, I can lose confidence and lose the erection.
I guess I just get in my head so much and the pressure to perform is so high and what will she think of me
Thinking of my erection will stay hard during sex
Any time we try to be spontaneous. If I don’t have an erection before we start, it’s probably not going to happen. If she really wants to have sex, I feel even more pressure to perform and then can’t get it up. She believes I’m not attracted to her and is less interested in sex as a result.
The foreplay before sex my breathing slows down and speeds up and I can’t seem to maintain a boner and my dick almost shrinks back inside
Transition from foreplay into first position
I don’t really have a problem with the condoms. For me it’s the moment before insertion. Am I even going to be hard enough to penetrate? Cool I did it, but will I stay erect. That’s what goes through my mind
If the encounter is planned as in “Sunday morning we’ll have sex”. I feel like I’m expected to perform.
thinking about failure
I feel like it’s the transitioning from foreplay to having sex where my mind starts playing games in my head! I have no problem keeping an erection during foreplay as long as I’m not thinking about having sex and that I don’t feel the feelings of doubt! I don’t really have any issue with using a condom, of course I would prefer to have sex without it but I understand why I need to use it and I don’t see any problem with it! But I definitely believe that turning all the focus away from you just sitting there and putting in the condom to that you and your partner find a way to make it more sexy
Getting the initial erection is pretty much my only worry. After that I can enjoy it far more and relax
It just occurred to me that I don’t engage in much foreplay before sex, and that is probably due to a concern of not being able to maintain an erection the longer the experience goes…
I certainly get extra anxious (I am a naturally anxious person) right before/during penetration to maintain the erection and not prematurely ejaculate.
Normal sex.
When the sex is expected. If I am laying in bed naked next to the person with no expectation of sex then I will get hard. But I’ve I believe there is an expectation to perform like going from fully clothed to naked then I might lose my erection
Many things can lead to me spectatoring and becoming insular–
- The disconnected moment of putting a condom on
- The split second over-analysis of the natural ebb and flow of hardness (When it gets even a little soft, I feel defeated like it won’t come back)
- Feeling like the sex is transactional kicks me out of the mood as well.
- Switching to the woman riding on top, while it’s my favorite position, often makes me lose it
- Going from behind feels transactional, so I lose it then.
Cant get off, so there seems to be lack of interest in the first place. I used to stay hard for literal hours tryin to finish, and even though shes good over and over, frustration about not enough stimulation to get me off lead me to a place that I could almost care less because whats the point. Is this what devine punishment for being with 130+ women is like, because it sucks…?
If my wife doesn’t look interested.
Putting on a condom has done it, the first time being with someone new has done it. Or spectating with a repeat partner after things not going to plan once before has done it
Right when I’m trying to penetrate
Putting on a condom