I constantly think about it. I’m trapped in my head and can’t stop worrying if it will work at all times. It effects my day to day Mindset and sex still works sometimes but it’s hard to get out of that state where I feel so tight and focused
When I get in my head thinking I’m not hard enough, my lady isn’t enjoying it, my boner going away, I’m not getting hard, I’m going to finish too fast, etc.
condom anxiety for the most part…but not 100 percent of the issue. We’ve done it without before and I still lost it once I started spectatoring.
Any sexual encounter that I have is when my performance anxiety starts to take over. It’s just so complicated to put into words.
Condoms for sure
right from the start with a new partner is where the pressure builds and I enter into spectating and self doubt, expectations build and the lack of trust effects my confidence
I think my biggest issue I started having issues when I broke things off with my last partner to then start living a single life again. You remember that when it comes to sex with girls that you haven’t known for very long, you have a lot more pressure. Every thing was going well and I was fully erect but when it came to putting on the condom, I literally flopped and I had to awkward explain to her that I drank too much but it was just that I super anxious…
Condom spectating
Not knowing the person well
This usually impacts me when I feel like the moment is special, but frankly, it is all the time now since I doubt myself.
When during foreplay I’m not getting hard, or barely getting hard at all. There’s often been times where I am getting intimate with a girl and she is all over me and goes to grab me and it’s just no where near hard enough for intercourse. During thew foreplay my mind can’t even focus on the fact that there’s a beautiful naked woman on top of me, it’s worried about getting hard.
When my wife call me out on something I can do better. Totally innocent and a key part of improving for both of us, but even a casual critique can shut me down.
When we go to bed and are both wanting sex, but my anxiety kicks in and I lose my erection.
Just stopping to put the condom on is an immediate killer, and the rubbery feeling just isnt natural. The condom stops me from actually feeling sex fully and puts me even more into my head
Usually if we go to try a new position and I don’t get it in first try I start to panic and then lose it
Often I find that when my partner starts to pay more attention to me, that is when I begin to get in My own head. As a person I throughly enjoy giving pleasure to my partner, but often when my partner wants to pleasure me, my head goes into panic mode.
When my partner wants to see me naked, and I am not immediately erect. I struggle with the idea that it takes time (and foreplay) to get erect enough for sex. I have no problem being naked with a partner though.
When we’re going into the bedroom it’s all I’m thinking about, and then putting the condom on I just know I’ll lose it
when my partner wants to begin pleasuring me. I had sex with the same partner for three years and lost my virginity to her. I was usually the one doing all the work and pleasuring. It became the expectation for sex with her. So it made it very difficult for me to stay still and relax when other women attempt to pleasure me
Foreplay is never an issue for me, maybe because that’s when I feel most connected and not in my head so much. Condoms always present a hurdle - as I begin to put on a condom I state to monitor how ‘hard’ I am - this is where the overkill in spectatoring begins and my inner critic pressures me to stay as hard as possible. Also, another instance situation that causes anxiety is a change in sexual position. Quite often with a partner we may start in missionary and move to doggy style - for some reason this change causes me high anxiety and then I start to worry whether this change will affect how hard I am and the pressure from my inner critic begins to rise again.
Situation where partner starts masturbating or sucking you and you kind a get anxious thinking that now I need to have erection and that it cannot lose. I think that brings me pressure.