Situational performance anxiety

Not being hard-enough to put it on

If I’m having sex with someone for the first time and they’re rushing into it, making me feel like I have to get an erection right away. It’s hard to tell someone you don’t know that well to take it slow or discuss you may have a psychological erection issue.

Started when one time I lost an erection while putting on a condom after which was still able to have sex that day with it but became a performance anxiety afterwards. Right now I don’t even bother thinking of wearing condoms and rely too much on alcohol to take me away from being a spectator within my inner critic playing games in my head

Same exact thing happens to me with condoms. By the time I’m reaching my drawer to get one , thoughts of failure already appear.

Putting the condom on while she is waiting is definitely a situation that causes anxiety because not only is there pressure to do it quickly (before the erection goes away), but it triggers the entire performance anxiety. This is the first step before intercourse and the first real “test” if you will, so I think for me it is a cascade effect that activates all of my performance anxieties at once.

Blow jobs I love them but all I’m doing is spectating

When the condom is put on or when I begin to cum too quickly.

initial penetration, changing positions,

Condoms and the physical changes including zero sexual pleasure as a result from taking sertraline, which I was told was safe to take. Been off them a long time now, so way out of my system but have left me with PSSD (Post SSRI Sexual Dysfunction).

I’ll add that pre-lubricated condoms are cold. It is like a targeted cold shower right where you don’t want it.

Last night, my partner and I had great success. She put the condom on while I didn’t look what was going on. It didn’t trigger my anxiety and we had a nice night.

The moment of penetration is definitely an erection killer for me. Foreplay can be going great, I’m totally focused in on the pleasure and sensation of touching and feeling each other. But, when either of us makes a move to escalate it to sex I start checking in on myself and how hard I am. I feel my heartbeat increase and wonder, “Is it going to go ok this time?” At that point I generally go limp. Pretty silly really, because I am generally already hard and enjoying my partner. But I have genuine fear of the act of sex itself and can’t seem to keep the momentum going.

Between foreplay and sex I spectate thinking about if I’m doing it right or if I should do something else because she’s not enjoying it. If she touches my penis and it’s soft then I worry she’ll be disappointed in me

Just fear of the inability to perform.

Switching positions (particularly for me going from the bottom to the top) is when I’ve gotten too soft to penetrate

Condoms, after putting it in successfully watching it soften, girl getting on top

Getting the erection then losing it

Sometimes I feel I worry during foreplay whether I’ve done too little or too much, like I’m worried that I might might be rushing into sex too quickly and not enough foreplay or sometimes or if foreplay is lasting a while I’m worried that it might seem that I’m just playing for time to get an erection even though I’ll have one but after I’m having these thoughts my erection disappears

I have to put it in full erection

Definitely condoms as others have mentioned. Although I ran into an issue with a new partner where we didn’t need condoms and I still faced the issue. It’s the transition out of foreplay, because in foreplay I’m in control and am confident in my skills. But when they eagerly want penetration and I’m not ready is when the panic sets in

Sometimes reaching for a condom is the mood killer, even though my current partner asks for it when she wants me to cum.