The switch from foreplay to sex will usually cause anxiety, pre planning what I think it going to happen and having to try execute a plan I’ve made in the mind is really unhealthy as if I make a slight mistake or something doesn’t go as imagined it can throw me off entirely ans then the anxiety and spectating come into play. Then from that point I will lose an erection or not be in the mood at all
I would say that when I feel that I am sweating more than usual (perhaps to due to performance anxiety), I usually start to lose my erection. After that it’s really tough for me to get harder again and get back to the stage it was.
Moving from foreplay to intercourse. As well as the idea of any position other than the one that has been working lately. Feel like once penetration has begun I am walking a line to keep erection solid.
Just the thought that my partner isn’t going to like it and it’s not going to be satisfying for them. I can get hard during foreplay but then when it cones time it won’t stay hard and then often I ejaculate without even being hard any more
When my partner gets on top of me. I feel out of control and will either be overcome with anxiety and lose my erection or won’t be able to last very long.
I have zero problems getting an erection and am always hard during foreplay. It’s after I enter my partner that I lose my erection, then, even masturbating won’t get me hard again because I feel embarrassed about losing it. I always suffered from premature ejaculation and that has turned into losing my erection these days.
The transition from foreplay to sex is difficult and then while having sex I’m in constant fear of losing it. I rarely think about actually enjoying sex since I’m thinking of everything around it
Yes, foreplay is all good but when getting into sex itself then I pressure myself.
Condoms as well tend to get me nervous because of the fear I’ll lose my erection.
That protective inner voice, either talks me out out of trying with my wife. Just knowing how disappointing things are whenever we try, ands keeping making excesses of why it doesn’t get hard.
The changing positions is a big one for me. We as a couple want to have sex using different positions but just that subtle interruption makes me lose my erection. So now we don’t even try different positions. Another one is going from playing/messing around to actual sex. I start spectatoring and listening to my inner critic.
As a gay man, preparing my partner for penetrative sex can is a major cause of anxiety, since lots of time needs to be spent applying lube and ensuring my partner is ready. In that span of time, the voice in the back of my head is urging me to maintain my erection — or else all of that hard work is for nothing.
1 Like
Critical Self Talk.
The transition from foreplay to penetration. I can often relax and get hard from foreplay, however, when it comes down transitioning to the penetration phase, that is when it feels like a tool of the dice. I also feel the confirm to be a disruption too.ad I write this I realise it is typically anything that seems to kill the natural flow and intimacy of things which can lead to me losing an erection.
New person or person I like
At this point it’s really every time we start a sexual encounter I’m thinking ahead of time trying to coach myself against the inner voice of impending erection failure
Group action with my two new partners, thinking I can’t keep up, that I’m just a third wheel which is not true
My partner puts on a kind of sexy snarly face expression and I find it off-putting, feel pressure to be equally sexually aggressive and a kind of mix of resentment and shame that I’m not
Very weird balancing act/downward spiral where I want to try and start penetrative sex as soon as I get the erection, but I know that it won’t be very enjoyable for her if we just completely skip foreplay, but I also know that whilst I’m doing foreplay there is a strong chance I’ll lose the erection and I’m not confident it will come back, and I’m thinking about all of this whilst doing foreplay instead of enjoying it and I start worrying that the foreplay is bad, and it all just ends up being complete shit for both of us
The condom has almost always killed my erection…to list just some of the frustrations, I want to practice safe sex (especially when it’s someone I don’t know well), I want to respect any girl’s request for me to put one on, and I’ve gotten an STI …I was seeing a girl who wanted me to wear one…it didn’t work… when I told her my erections didn’t work with condoms she just thought I was trying to coerce her into not making me wear one… Since I was too embarrassed to tell her about the bigger issue … this argument over a condom ended causing a lot of tension between us.
1 Like
When were about to have sex and then she goes into the bathroom and I have to wait for a long period of time it can throw me off