The move from foreplay to having to insert. I get serious anxiety over insertion
For me it is knowing what I like or what I believes gives me the best erections. Any deviation from that, makes me think I may not get the erection or have it strong enough. Going from condom on to penetration is alwys like do this as fast as possible before I lost it.
The spectatoring begins the second my wife comes to dinner or to bed dressed in something special or otherwise signaling her interest (uh oh “expectation”) in sex. I’ll smile at her, but internally critic tells me to start kegeling like mad and checking my body for blood pressure rising.
1 Like
Condoms, sex itself, the mention of sex and how good is going to be
1 Like
From making out to pointing my penis into the vagina, that’s when suddenly my penis just goes immediately limp. And this is after taking a viagra pill (which apparently, doesn’t sustain the erection no matter how aroused I am)
1 Like
Condoms have been a catalyst in some seriously soul crushing nights, has haunted me ever since.
If I can’t keep a relaxed and accepting and focusing on the pleasure mindset. If I let a worry slip in, or become focused on the mechanics I get distracted from the feelings.
1 Like
The fear of not being able to stay hard to penetrate and switching positions
1 Like
I can relate with almost everything people are saying here. For me, spectatoring almost always happens, independently of the situation. Sex without Cialis seems completely impossible for me, but even with it, I get so in my head sometimes, that I get soft.The very few situations in my life where I managed to get an erection and penetrate a girl without Cialis, was when I was completely caught by surprise and there was some element present of it being “forbidden” in that moment.
My main fear is that it won’t be hard enough for penetration since the first time I had sex and thereafter or whenever I lose my erection it’s usually well I am penetrating or soon after
Moving from foreplay to actually having sex boost the fear of either coming to early or then just loosing the erection. This leads to a lot of self doubt. Including the process of putting on the condom makes it even more difficult
1 Like
Basically any point that I’m aware of sex being on the table. If she hints at having sex later, no boner. I can usually naturally get hard if sex comes out of no where.
I have struggled all my life with premature ejaculation, and so sex has always been associated with anxiety. With my girlfriend, now wife, I used to be able to get hard and stay hard without an issue but would always be watchful for PE and would often break off foreplay to ‘reset’. I would be super focused on not ejaculating, and shutting things down if I got too excited to prevent that. Now we are well established together, we have unprotected sex, and we’re trying for a baby. Suddenly the emphasis is on sex as a function, and my responsibility is to ejaculate. And I’m finding it easy to get hard but sometimes it slips away whenever I most need it. I think my hardwired efforts all these years to not ejaculate have proved hard to unpick and I’m very aware of a pressure to ejaculate. I’m spectatoring all the time and now my anxiety has switched focus from not doing something to definitely doing something.
1 Like
I can relate with almost everything people are saying here. For me, spectatoring almost always happens, independently of the situation. Sex without Cialis seems completely impossible for me, but even with it, I get so in my head sometimes, that I get soft.The very few situations in my life where I managed to get an erection and penetrate a girl without Cialis, was when I was completely caught by surprise and there was some element present of it being “forbidden” in that moment.
I find participating in oral, switching positions and putting on the condom as moments where I feel anxiety, any break to my flow leads to moments of insecurity about losing my erection which in turn leads it to happening
The pressure of putting on a condom really throws me off and when I’m not using one the changing of position, that slight movement to changing position already my mind is flooding with unpleasant thoughts then I lose my erection.
Everything. I worry about not getting an erection fast enough. Is she getting impatient? Why don’t I feel anything? And then I worry about staying hard in missionary. Then I worry about getting the condom. Then I worry about staying hard. It’s all worry and anxiety
Not have discussions of stds beforehand
1 Like
When I can’t ejaculate fast enough from a BJ.
1 Like
Knowing the time is going to be after the kids go to bed. I get in my head and can’t get an erection.