Typically during foreplay and begin to get an erection I’m thinking about mainting it snd my partner enjoying the sex which tends to either make me less hard or ejaculate too quickly losing the erection all together
I think my preoccupation with my partner’s worries as well as my concern for her pleasure levels are affecting me
When we need to put some lube on our sex parts that is like a test
During foreplay I already start being anxious if I am taking control enough and if I should be on top more.
If I try to put on a condom usually my errection goes soft.
If I can succeed going from foreplay to intercourse the anxiety grows if my errection will be hard enough and if she is comfortable and if I can get in right away and that is the latest point my errection goes soft
Definitely breaking that hot sexy flow to do “the responsible thing” kills my erections. Also, that point we’re we are now about to penetrate rather than that happening naturally when it feels perfect and just happens. The thinking about it takes me out of my body sensation
When she wants to get on top or in the swing. I love her eating my booty and giving me head, but sometimes those are other situational performance anxiety triggers. I want to be able to get hard and stay hard like when we first got together anytime she wants it.
My wife and I were going through some tough times. She had not been fully truthful with me regarding some things. Also, memories came back from when we were younger and she would have a schedule for sex, like we are only going to do it this many times a week or only on this day. I believe stuff like that caused me to keep feelings bottled in and now those feelings cause anxiety and some form of anger against her that prevents me from being with her and truly enjoying the moment.
I can definitely identify with the condom scenario. Even when I was younger and erections weren’t a problem I used to refer to them as “shrink wrap”.
My wife has issues with dryness and so we use lube so there is an almost identical situation where foreplay has happened and then she says “do you want to get the lube” and then then it’s like someone pulled the emergency break on the train, everything comes to a screeching halt whilst I reach for the lube, sit up/kneel and start to lube my cock and/or her pussy and then put the lube back only now I have a sticky hand, all the while she is laying there waiting.
Penetrating someone and the expectations of how it should go doesn’t help me at all. I start to feel competitive like I should get on with it but then realise it’s not a job.
I alway have the inner voice telling me that it won’t work, it won’t get up. And than it really doesn’t. How do I get rid of that voice?
Overthinking through foreplay, and getting into my head about why I’m not getting hard.
Condoms and when the partner doesn’t like what I like
thinking will I last long enough? The first time I enter a woman. When a woman first puts hers mouth on my penis. Asking myself if I’m doing enoigh for her.
I think I have a few, but they all tend to revolve around ‘Hurry up!’ ‘Get going’ ‘Move quicker’.
Changing position - I sometimes feel moving too much will make me lose my erection. The time to reposition and get where I want my partner to be is an issue.
Foreplay - Penetrative Sex - the tiny gap between these moments can sometimes lead to me thinking this is going to go down
My partner talking about sex before it takes place - I immediately feel the pressure. I start talking to myself, trying reassure but I actually now think this is the inner critic. Previous to all this happening, I’d take these sorts of discussion as exciting. A promise of something to come. Now they feel like a shadow that I have to get through.
Putting on a condom. Kills my erection.
Putting a condom on is one situation I feel my inner thoughts start to get more intense, the gap of having to put the condom on and thinking if I’m hard enough to penetrate. Also switching positions sometimes can be the point where I lose an erection. If I’m performing oral sex my erection will completely go.
Going from foreplay to sex is when spectatoring affects my performance
My trigger would have to be the moment before and after of trying to get my erection. Thinking is it going to work this time, and if it does get hard … how long? Getting into my head thinking of all of the times my erections were unsuccessful. It’s a vicious cycle that takes the joy out of it.
Receiving oral sex is often the most vulnerable for me.
Condoms!! After a year and a half of not using them with an ex, my first sexual encounter after included a condom. By that point I was so used to not wearing them that and I associated them with a reduction in pleasure. When it came down to it, I spectated and lost my erection and with not a very understanding girl the seed had been planted and tended to.