Switching positions
My inner critic starts pre erection. That is the trigger
If I almost cum and have to try really hard to make it not happen, then I can go limp
Comparing myself to what I think the perfect sexual performance would be. If I lose my erection even once I start thinking of myself as an old man and that terrifies me.
Innercritic, or anxiety that it will fall
Condoms
Not so much a situation but just my day to day life. I’m an over-thinker with everything in my life. It’s a constant battle of checks and balances to make sure that what people see of me is the best I can do. And in the bedroom that makes my erection go away and lead to doubt in myself. Que the down hill slide.
Condoms
When I am above her initiating or trying to. When it’s slow and its like the pressure is on me…I notice my muscles shake and my breathing and heart rate. I try to calm my self down but doing that makes my erection go down significantly. Then when I am in position I notice how uncomfortable I am and I try to detract my self telling my inner mind I want this I want this I want this.
During foreplay if I’m unable to get the erection, it could discourage me to keep going.
I’ve been rejected by my wife and she’s lost interest in tge past, so when she get me hard as a rock and makes me wait, I get stuck in my head that she’s going to change her mind and kill my erection
10000% associate condoms with getting limp or even the thought of treating sex like an exam and not enjoying the moment. Spectatoring to make sure I’m fully erect all the time
When I can’t get my penis in the first time then I start panicking because I think I’m not hard enough to penetrate and then boner gone
Transitioning from foreplay to sex, putting a condom on
My partner asking questions when at beginning of intercouse. This was at beginning of relationship years ago. It’s like an interrogation. What are you thinking? Her trying to solve erection issues in the spot. Throws me off. That was at beginning now a days it’s just silence. She more understanding but I’ll have one at start when making out and by time it’s time too do it, it’s gone. my head is in wrong place focusing on why it’s not working or focus on her so there is no stimulation on penis and it goes soft.
Even during foreplay I’m having troubles and start spectating. Not always but often. Then during the act I hear the inner critic saying: must stay hard, don’t lose it, don’t embarrass yourself. Also, my partner is so tired of it that she always associates sex with negative and never does anything for it anymore. She blames me for not making her feel like a woman and therefore she doesn’t do anything anymore. She often starts talking negatively about sex when I tell her I want to have sex. It kills my mood instantly and inner critic says that I just won’t be able to perform.
Just the thought of initiating sex, going from forepaly to sex, the thought will I be able to satisfy and the thought of not getting or maintaining an erection.
Condom putting
First time
Focusing on imperfect aspects
Been so long since I got a hard election, that I keep doubting I will ever get one again
When i’m putting on a condom. Or like when we’re doing foreplay and I don’t immediately get hard, I start talking down on myself