I’ll be honest. I’ve been very lucky with my sexual partners. I think my inner critic understands that they’re perhaps way out of my league and that impacts my sex. I feel like I have to be as good as they look.
Feeling that I won’t be good enough for my partner in the moment and leading to me not wanting to initiate sex.
I would say the lack of comfort I have within myself is what is holding me back. I also think of the sex like a competition when I’m not a truly competitive person although I do want to do my best.
My inner critic telling me you better get hard, or else… , negative life chit chat, talk about exes, being given a time limit,
If it doesn’t happen right away, any loss at all or softening, any indicator or feeling that partner is disappointed or self conscious from my failure to perform
When I feel sex is expected, such as when we go for a shower after mutually acknowledging that it was for this purpose. I’ll often get it hard enough to penetrate and lose it immediately after starting worrying something will go wrong or that my erection will go down. Which it then does.
Moving from foreplay and pleasuring my girl with my mouth, hands, and or toys to sex, especially when I grab a condom. Lately she’s been a little distrustful of me because I try to have sex with her raw without her noticing. I hate that I have to do that just so I can please her in bed, especially when our trust is being chipped away with each time we do it.
Every time I have to put a condom on I start to loose my erection
When i think about having sex
Early relationships. Sometimes it’s an inability to orgasm, sometimes it’s PE, sometimes it’s erection problems. I think it’s pretty clear that it’s all in my head and worries/inner critic/spectatoring about performance and the impact it could have on the relationship.
condom time. My partner asks me to put it on because she is ready for sex and that seems to put a timer on. If I don’t get it out and on quickly enough, I panic that I’ll lose my election. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy!
Just the pressure of failure
I’ve got a scene that plays in my head when me and my spouse get intimate but in the scene it’s not me it’s a guy I possibly think she had an affair with… and the crazy thing is in my “scenario” there’s a specific position there in and she enjoys that position so she says. Even though we’ve only done it that way maybe 2 times. It’s a lot to take in but then that’s all I see with my eyes closed trying to focus on pleasure and then I start to think I’m not doing good enough. Then my anxiety kicks in and it just spirals out of control sometimes I’m lucky enough finish but most times I’ve got to tend to my spouse in other ways…
I don’t know if I have any triggers …I haven’t had sex in over eight years … With my ex ,Anytime we did anything. I’d be hard right before I would go to stick it in ,And I would go soft. Or I’d go soft inside , And always got - Really ? Seriously ? And like the one guy said ,Having to masturbate to get it back up again ,Only to lose it again is frustrating
I get very anxious and lose my erection if the girl I am with gets turned on very fast and wants to go at fast pace very soon. For me to not pay attention to my inner critic I really need things to flow smoothly and in no rush otherwise Ill be aroused uncomfortable soon.
During doggy, I worry I’m not big enough or just doesn’t seem like I can get in all the way. I know most women love it and it freaks me out. Just worrying I won’t be good enough or give it to her good enough and just lose it
During foreplay when she starts undressing me
Taking my underwear off can often cause me to spectate. I’m often hard leading up to that point, but once it’s off, I start to get in my head and things tend to soften. Also when we start applying lube to me and my partner that break seems to increase the anxiety or pressure of the moment of what’s about to happen.
I don’t wear condoms. But everytime I’m feeling frisky or I want to have sex, straight away I get a voice saying no. You can’t do this. It’s not going to work. What if it doesn’t work. As I generally start to lose it during missionary or even as foreplay begins with her as at that moment it’s no longer about me.
Not pleasing my partner